Today is a new day...and wow. I started my period 5 days early. Yippee. Happy frickin Friday to me.
Marc and I decided a few days ago to be just friends. That really tore me up but I distracted myself with a guy that totally digs me..totally wants to be around me all the time..totally wants to be my boyfriend.
No..I'm not in love with Dave..I was falling in love with Marc. Dave is loveable to..and while we are completely comfortable with one another..I have not yet formed a bond with him like I did with Marc.
Marc says it is not fair to compare people..because all people are different.
But the thing is..when you have feelings for someone..and even though they are not reciprocated..there is a tendency to compare other people to them.
I am trying very hard to not compare Marc and Dave. Really...it's apples and oranges. Marc is brilliantly intelligent..Dave is not. I have at least 20 IQ points on Dave..however..he is smart in his own way..and smarter than me in a few areas. I guess everyone has their strengths.
I really like the fact that Dave is touchy feely and is very open with what he thinks and feels. I enjoy the fact that he always wants to be near me and touch me. It cracks me up that his favorite thing to do is play with my hair and touch the tip of my nose.
He's totally a guy I can hang out with. Who knew..I probably would've felt that way with Marc too..but never got the chance to just "hang out" so I may never know.
Marc is hurting..and you know..even though I did hurt some...I would've been hurt worse to be the rebound girl. Who knows..maybe I already was. I don't want to think about that right now.
I enjoy him so much..and plan to stay his friend..and already informed Dave that I have a lot of male friends and I am not planning on stopping talking to any of them.
Marc means a lot to me.....
I am hurting a little now..because of the whole Marc thing...but being held by another guy..who likes you a whole lot..is nice. I like to be held. I need to be held. I need to be needed. Maybe the problem with Marc is that I knew I needed him but never knew if he needed me..hell..I don't even know to this day how he felt about me.
Well...Dave is sleeping in my bed right now. That's right. It was a funny sight to wake up and see a man in my bed. He is camping out at my house. After all..Jackie is not home..and it's my place..and I'm doing my thing.
The hope remains that someday..Marc's hurt will let up a lot..and he will let me back in his life in a big way. If not..I'll always be his friend. But until then...I'm not waiting..nor holding my breath. I'll continue living..and dating..and whatever.
I stopped taking the Prozac..by the way. That crap..which is just a stand-by for hard times..makes it more difficult in the bedroom..if you know what I mean.
I am not depressed..so I don't need it right now. But I just refilled it..just in case.
Jackie is having fun in Oregon....little monster. I miss her so, so bad. Her idiot father actually told her to stop taking her asthma medicine because the air is so clean up there. I had to call and curse him out for that crap. I had to explain to the dunce..again..that the medicine is for maintence. Going off the medicine eventually means illness and expensive medications and time off work to rectify. Jerk.
He really gets on my stupid nerves sometimes. How can you have two degrees and be so stupid at the same time?
Moron.
So glad he's not MY husband anymore.
Tata!
Talk to ya'll later.
Missy
12:39 pm - June 09, 2006
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
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