Yeah, I'm so digging 30 Seconds to Mars right now.
Time marches on, doesn't it? I have been in Pennsylvania for one year. When I left Tennessee, I was fleeing. I fled Bryon, who was a cheating dog. I fled the memory of my baby sister and her death. Most of all, I was fleeing a life I was no longer proud of.
I just finished my first semester of college. Right now I have a 4.0 average. Of course, I have a math final tomorrow.
Criminal justice is such an exciting field! This coming quarter I actually have a CJ class which is Law Enforcement. That's going to be be so awesome. This is what I'm here for!
Going back to school has opened my mind a lot. I have always considered myself progressive, but I realized that I was a bit narrow-minded about some things. When I first decided to go back to school, I wanted to work with crime victims. Of course, as time has gone by, I realized that female prisoners are usually crime victims too, so I decided to expand my audience to inmates. Crime begets crime. True dat, my homey.
My daughter Jackie is now thirteen years old. I still can't believe she is a teenager. We have some serious ups and downs. She pretty much drives me insane all the time and I do the same to her. We have the ongoing battle of the wills and it looks like no one is winning. I tire of the smart remarks and eye-rolling, but I pick my battles.
Jackie has been extremely sick since she got the swine flu in August. Her immune system has never been the same. I lost my job because of my attendance and I am home-schooling her now. She goes to a virtual school.
Her immune system took such a hit that Jackie has been in the ER about 7 times since the fall. She was hospitalized in November for 4 days. The doctors believe Jackie may have an auto-immune disorder, though they are not sure what it is.
I rarely speak to Bryon anymore. I am on a speaking basis with a few men but my kid and school are my top priority. Just too many times have I seen a man be one person to the public and a completely different animal in private. So I've been burned, I've watched my friends get burned..and eh..I'll pass on the serious relationships right now.
Speaking of the past..when I lost my job...things got really bad financially. I only had $300.00 coming in a month. It was a serious struggle. It took FOREVER to get approved for food stamps..and things got so bad I was going to a food pantry every week. Such a far cry from making $60 k a year! The depression and anxiety took hold and I felt as if things were never going to get better.
But recently, they have. I got approved for my GI Bill benefits and living expenses. I don't have to go back to work until the mid-summer. I'd say life is pretty darn good right now.
My life from day to day is much more relaxed. School and my kid stress me out, but when I think back to Tennessee, living with Bryon, mourning Renee's death and wondering what alien my kid had turned into..yeah..it's changed a lot.
Pennsylvania is a wonderful place to heal. I'd recommend it to anyone. I have my cousin and her hubby and a few good friends and I wouldn't change anything.
Except maybe..that Lisa would move here. I miss her so DAMN much!
Well..ttyl.
9:20 am - March 11, 2010
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
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