I have a boyfriend....he is awesome.
It has been so long since I had a boyfriend that I have a very hard time saying "we" and "us" when the both of us are around. He understands.
I still talk to Marc..but it is different now. The hurt from what happened between us has faded to almost indecipherable..and that is okay. We are still friends.
I think with Marc..I was in love with what could have been..when it was already evident there would be no future between us..not now anyway. Falling in love with "what could be" is playing Russian Roulette with your heart. I got hurt doing that.
I think what Marc and I had between us was unique..but at the same time..I think a lot of what I felt was entirely imagined....and not something he put out there me to percieve however I wanted.
Sometimes..you meet someone so wonderful..your mind runs amok with ideas and dreams and possibilities. All the while...reality tries to creep in...and I guess eventually...it did.
As far as Dave..Wow. He is an awesome guy too. He makes me laugh and he has so much joy in his heart that it is contagious. We've been talking for a while..but a few weeks ago..he came to spend the night one night..and then came over the next...and I just did not want him to leave..so I asked him to stay. I figure..if there's a time to figure if things are going to work...it should be while Jackie's gone.
I had to still work out my feelings for Marc..but I knew immediately that Dave would be good for me and vise versa.
I tell you..Dave has a heart of pure gold. He is so considerate and sweet to me..and he goes out of his way to make sure I'm happy and that I feel reassured and content. He in turn..let's me take care of him too, reminding him to take his medicine....taking care of his piercings for him..well..it's just nice.
When I go to sleep..he is right up against my back holding me. In the middle of the night..he's touching me. Even though he's not usually tired when I go to bed..he goes to sleep with me.
Obviously..other areas are in sync too (wink, wink).
It's nice...to have someone to hang out with..who makes me laugh..who loves the same music I do..who is the same age..enjoys the same things..who opens doors for me..and does things without me asking him too (like taking out the trash, cleaning up after the dog).
Oh..and he bought me a Vera Wang "Serta" bed last Sunday. He sure did. He took me to the "Bedroom Store" and told me to pick out any mattress set I wanted. Silly boy...never ask a girl what she wants in an expensive store. But after some convincing on my part..I saw this bed..and almost died when I saw the price ($2000 for the one I wanted and ended up getting, King size)but I guess when I laid on this bed (the 6th I'd laid on)..I guess he saw the look on my face..and he bought it.
It gets delivered Friday.
He bought himself a 42 inch Samsung Flat Screen Hi-Def TV..that get's delivered Saturday. Good for him..because I don't watch TV. Oh..and I don't have cable..because I don't watch TV..but he's paid for that too..since he does watch TV. I will not pay for something I don't use, like cable. I'll be more than happy to pay for DSL..but not for cable.
I also got a new car this week. I got a silver 2005 Dodge Stratus. I really love that car. I will probably trade my Mitsubishi Lancer in to the dealer..because eventually I'd like to get a GMC Envoy or a Ford F-150. I've had my car for 2 years and already, I'm sick of it.
Anyway...Jackie is doing well. I talked to her yesterday..she sounds really happy and that she is having a great time in Oregon. I really, really, really miss her so much. But I can't let her know that because she'll be homesick..and I want her to spend time with her Dad and her family while she can..because when she get's back school starts 2 weeks later..and I want her to enjoy her summer. She's not going to enjoy her summer with me..because I work during the day..so she'll be with a babysitter.
Anyway....
I've gained like 6 pounds back..so I've got to lose it. I think Dave's eating habits are rubbing off on me..and I have to stop that. More water..less fat!
I am so freaking tired! But I'm also very happy. And I've been off the Prozac for a week or so now..and I feel great!
7:44 am - June 15, 2006
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
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