Yes..I am still alive. Tee-hee.
By the way..any of you want to see me on myspace..my name is indigonavy...I'd love to add you.
My life is crazy right now. Yes..I am very happy. Yes..things are beautiful.
By the way..I found out Thursday..Rodn*ey's parole was denied. That's right..I won't have to deal with that pig for another five years..and with him being in his early 60's..well..let's hope he doesn't live another five.
I am happier than I've ever been. I have been dating....but truthfully..have fallen in love with Marc..and I feel I may get hurt. He is the sweetest guy I've ever met..and is so amazingly brilliant and intelligent and fascinating..but yet..he is also newly divorced (5 months ago). I just don't want to be rebound girl. As much as I only want to be with him..he is not ready for that..so I date other people..and I'm bored as hell..because they're not him.
I wish I could tell you how much knowing him has positively impacted my life. But how can you put into words all the intensity and the butterflies and the warmth and the need to be close and also..the feeling that he's letting me in but just enough? You can't really.
If he told me tomorrow.."date only me" I would. And he lives an hour away. I would totally give up these other dudes I'm dating for him....but I'll get hurt..so I can't right now.
My heart hurts sometimes...because I have been in this situation before. I'm always the friend..never the girl. I'm always into the guy...more than he is into me..
I admit..I have cried while talking to him..because I have opened up to him so, so much..and if you know me..you know how difficult this was. Considering months ago I wouldn't even be talking to a guy..much less baring my soul.
He doesn't want to hurt me. I don't want him to hurt me. And yet..I want to take the chance..because of the wonderful feelings I have now..and because I know that not knowing him is much worse than knowing him.
As far as my daughter...I miss her so much. I felt like I was going crazy yesterday..and she only left for Oregon on Friday. The house was too quiet. So..I had a date with a guy I also had a date with on Saturday.
He is really sweet..but I don't see long term potential..although I know he definitely wants that already...and if I wanted a boyfriend I could have one now.
I want a boyfriend..but I want it to be Marc. So..I wait. Patience..patience is not something I'm good at.
How do you play it off when the thought of the guy makes you grin like an idiot? How do you explain how his hugs and kisses make you feel?
I have never felt this way with anyone..not even my husband.
It burns..my heart hurts sometimes..but I really think I could love Marc. I know I could. Saying those words to him are not something I'm going to do until I know for sure how he feels about me. But I already know.
He is a man of little words..when it comes to his feelings. I really have no idea how he feels about me. But I talk to him everyday..at times for hours.
Wow. This is fantastic...
1:50 pm - June 05, 2006
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
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