I had an insanely busy weekend, in addition to terrible PMS. Boy, besides being hot, I was crabby.
Poor Jackie. She got the brunt of my mood swings this weekend.
I think she�s started to feel like sometimes she can�t do anything right. I have to work on that with her.
Friday was boring. I cleaned gerbil cages.
Saturday, I woke up at 11:30 a.m. I went to clean my grandma�s house. I talked with my grandma about hiring someone to come in and clean the house so I could take her to do fun stuff. She was pretty excited about that so now all I have to do is hire a good Christian woman to clean her house.
It will be no small feat to find someone suitable.
After Jackie and I left Grandma�s, we came home and picked up the laundry. It was pouring rain. Jackie played outside in the puddles while I folded the clothes. She got soaked.
I sat outside when I got home. I talked to Tony, Sandy, and Gordon while the kids played. It was a relaxing evening. That�s what holiday weekends are supposed to be like.
Sunday, as soon as I stepped out on the porch for a cigarette I KNEW it was going to be one hot day. All week the newscasters had been saying, �This is going to be one of the cooler July 4th�s that we�ve had in years..�
Liars. I knew better. I began to dread going to the VP Fair right that moment.
Since Toni was working, I was watching Max. I got some housework done while we waited for Toni to get off work. Around 4 I took the kids to get something to eat while we waited for Toni to come home. I ran them to McDonald�s and got each of us a cheeseburger because I was refusing to pay for food at the VP fair. Put it this way. A book of 9 tickets is $5.00. A large iced tea was 8 tickets, in some areas, it was 10. I knew it was going to be absolutely friggin ridiculous and later found out how right I was.
When we came home from McDonald�s, Toni was home. We packed up her car and left right away.
I made Toni get off at 3200 Broadway so that we could take the back way to the Arch. I had planned on us parking on a side street, however, when we got to it, it was blocked off. Boy, was I pissed. We tried a few more places but they wanted you to park in these weird positions and we didn�t think that was safe, so we went across Broadway where the perfect space awaited us.
This was as close as we could get for $8.00, and we still 4 long uphill blocks from the entrance of the fair.
Oh, my god. The trek took forever and it was HOT! I felt like I was getting shin splints. The sun was beating down on our heads. My cheeks were red, Jackie looked like a lobster. It was bad. We stopped at a bead vendor to take a break. Jackie bought some American flag beads with some of the $20.00 that my Grandma had given her.
Tony just kept on trekking. I didn�t hear any complaining out of her or Max, which I felt, was something to be proud of under these conditions.
We stopped at the child safety tent and got the kids tagged (sort of like deer) and registered. The nice man at the table explained to the kids what to do if they got lost and gave them a Simba flashlight. The kids thought that was neat.
We were still early enough to catch the air show. We parked ourselves on the steps right underneath the Arch.
It was phenomenal. When the Harrier jet came out, I asked Tony �What do you think Saddam thought about those?�
She said, � I hope he didn�t have time to think about anything.�
We giggled. It was really awesome to watch such examples of our military might.
After the air show, the DJ put Sting on and we got up and ambled toward the kids ride tent. Only, we trekked through gazillions of people to get there and we couldn�t find it. So, the kids and I sat down next to the South pond and Toni went off to see if she could get some directions.
I started to cool off finally. The weather was perfect if you weren�t moving, but if you got going the humidity crept up on you like the Grim Reaper and suddenly you feel like a limp, wet noodle.
The kids played by the water and I just closed my eyes and relaxed. Thank God I was wearing shorts and not pants. I would�ve been even more miserable.
Toni came back and we gave up looking for the ride. We decided to go back where from whence we came to the Family Fun Village. We started the trek across the Arch grounds. By now, my head was sweating and sweat beads were falling into my eyes and making them burn. I kept wiping them but they were still burning.
Finally, that subsided.
There was a guy in front of us that smelled like a dumpster. I swear, I thought I was going to throw up.
By now the Wallflowers were playing. I love the Wallflowers and Jacob Dylan, let me count the ways�
We stopped to get some snow cones for the kids and I got a giant unsweetened tea for myself. Thank god Mr. Sweatpants had given me 17 tickets that he hadn�t used. They came in handy.
We wandered aimlessly for another half an hour and finally sighted the Family Fun Village over by the north pond.
It takes us about 10 minutes to get over there and we are somewhat disappointed to realize that the Family Fun Village is actually a roped off area where the only fun things are four variously heightened poster boards with the head area cut out so your kid can get behind it and you can take a picture.
Yippee-friggedy-dee.
Sigh. No matter. Toni and I kicked off our shoes, plopped down in the grass and told the kids to run wild, run free. For fun I threw some grass on her. She retaliated in kind.
After a while, about 45 minutes, we wanted to go find some funnel cakes. After letting the kids run crazy we rounded them up and headed back toward the entrance where various venders were parked. We found a lady that makes calendars, so we had our pictures taken with our kids that dates from July 04 till July 05. They turned out pretty good except in my picture, I look like I�m constipated, my face is so red.
Whatever.
After that we wandered down to get some funnel cakes. That took about 45 minutes and suddenly we were only a few minutes from seeing the fireworks. I stood in line for the cakes while Tony ran down and got the calendars, since they were ready.
We now had food. We were ready for the fireworks. The only hang-up was that we had to climb over a wall to get somewhere where we could get to in time to watch the fireworks. I felt like humpty-dumpty. I was already exhausted.
The fireworks were beautiful as always.
After the fireworks were over, it was time to go home. Jackie kept hopping and skipping and generally, just aggravated the crap out of me even though she was just being a kid. I kept crabbing at her and she started crying. I felt so bad. She said, �I don�t feel like I deserved to come to the Fair�. I told her, after thinking about it, that it wasn�t true. That she is a good girl and did deserve to come.
When we finally got to the car, I explained to her that I was hot and tired and crabby and that I was sorry.
I think she forgave me.
I think we walked about 3 miles on Sunday. It was nuts.
I�d like to thank the city of St. Louis for closing off any of the routes home that would�ve made sense. We sat in traffic for about 45 minutes.
It was insane.
Toni and I realized that the kids were probably hungry and we swung through and went to Taco Bell.
We got home. Jackie ate all of the toppings off her pizza and she was so tired, I was so pooped, that we just went to bed.
I slept until 12:00 on Monday morning.
Monday was a lazy day. I took Jackie swimming.
I guess all of the physical activity spurred my body into having Aunt Flo come visit. I hurt so much right now. I got incredibly painful cramps.
*************************************************************
I talked to my sister Renee last night. She was luke-warm for the first few minutes. I told her that I could�ve said everything I said in the letter to her face, but a) I didn�t want to ruin her visit and 2) I didn�t think she�d hear me out anyway since she hung up on me the first time I tried to talk to her.
I told her I was sorry if I hurt her. I explained to her that I was scared for her and her kids. I was also concerned about Tommy. I�d told her in the letter that she has to learn to get along with Tommy because it�s good for the kids. It�s not good to put your kids in the middle.
She repeated that back to me while we were on the phone.
I was glad.
She said it�s all water under the bridge and that I�m entitled to my opinion. Not quite what I was hoping for but if anything she knows that I will speak up from now on. If you want someone to listen to you and have no opinion, adopt a dog.
It�s about impossible to sit quietly and watch someone ruin their life. It�s also tough to remain neutral because your real allegiance is going to go to the one you love the most.
My sister felt pretty okay announcing to me in front of my neighbors, God and all creation that I needed to lose weight.
I was aghast. She was at this weight not even 3 years ago and I was much thinner. I wouldn�t have dreamed of saying something so cold and obvious to her, much less in front of anyone else.
I felt that since she felt like she could be free and open with me that I could return the favor and inform her that she�s making a dangerous mistake.
Ahh, but I underestimated the little grasshopper.
I guess now my sister has no ideas about putting me in the same room with Terry. Good idea.
I feel much better having talked to Renee. Besides the fact that I�ve not slept well for a month, she�s had a hard time lately. Leah, the 6 year old, had taken the foam covers off the handlebars of her bike and didn�t put them back on. Well, shortly after she was in a terrible accident, she drove into a ditch and tore a huge gash in her leg. The gash required a trip to the ER, six stitches and instructions not to get it wet for the next month.
Also, shortly after my sister got back home a month ago, she had to move into a smaller place. She told me she got rid of a lot of stuff and that the move was necessary to save money.
She did say that Terry was not on any drugs (yeah right, he�s a liar), and that there was food in the house and the rent was paid.
So, I guess I just have to let her live her life. I did tell her that no matter what, I�m here. I made her promise to call me if anything came up, and I reiterated that I love her and always will no matter who she�s with.
I hate Terry�s guts, can�t stand the bastard, but I still love my sister. I have to be here for her when the �honeymoon� is over. God know that time will be upon us before we know it. Men like Terry can�t behave forever because all they know how to do is mess up.
1:02 pm - July 06, 2004
Recent entries:
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