Last Friday I left a message for the lady at Victim�s Services asking her to update me with any information about the DNA review. She hasn�t written me back yet. With the beginning of a new year, I know now that the time of the results should be upon us soon. I�m just hoping they hurry up. My life was like an episode of �The Twilight Zone� for going on 7 months now. I�m ready for this to be all over. I feel like God�s will, will be done this year. However, it is hard to wait patiently for information that could so profoundly affect my life. It�s hard not to be angry when I think of this man getting a second chance. My mom didn�t get one. My sister and I almost didn�t get one. I know he did it, but a small part of me fears there won�t be enough evidence to keep him where he is.
And I wait.
The reporter who interviewed me has been on the news a lot since the interview. Deanne Lane was supposed to do it, but she was out on assignment. I really was fine with Ann. She�s a well groomed, well spoken, woman. She was also very considerate of my feelings, and really, reporters don�t have to be. I just wish Ann all the best. I told her I felt like she was going to go really far in her career; she has the spirit and determination to do so.
I know that it�s about time for the investigators to be calling me. I know that�s a mean name to call them considering that they are just doing their job. However, I guess I�m a bit prejudiced because the last time I had an interview with them, it was very intense, and it was like I was being put on trial. I think I�m going to just be myself, not be on the defensive, and be honest. Honestly, my life is not as interesting as they may think. I just don�t like being grilled because it doesn�t feel fair.
My brother Joey called me. I felt really bad because my medicine was making me really tired and I was having a hard time thinking of things to say. This was my first time speaking to my brother Joey. Joey lives in McMinneville, Tennessee. He�s 23, married and has 2 kids and one in the oven. I asked him to please write me a letter and send me some pictures. I wonder if he�s a handsome devil like my brother Ronnie. Probably. After all, he�s related to me. (ha)
I took my Christmas tree down yesterday. Most of the weekend was pretty sedentary; we just sat around and watched movies and television. I did a little cleaning up. I got rid of some leftover junk from having company for two weeks and washed the dishes. Still, I wasn�t satisfied about going back to work on Monday and having done nothing really productive during the weekend.
I stared at the tree for a while. I thought about having my big sis here for almost two weeks and how much more I enjoyed the holidays with her and Ricky here. It was really nice to not be alone. I mean, I have Jackie, but it�s usually just her and me. This year was different. I wasn�t exhausted after their visit; I was renewed.
Hmm. I knew the closet I kept the tree in was a mess. Anytime I get something I�m not sure what to do with, I shove it into that closet. It was a mess.
So, I pulled out the ornament and light boxes. I started taking the ornaments off the tree.
Ahh. These are the ones I bought while waiting for my divorce to become final. Beautiful and expensive, and worth it. A Santa on silk. A handblown Angel. Oh, and these, Mr. Sweatpants and I bought them last Christmas when my sister Renee was her. Two stars. She ended up leaving a day or so before Christmas. That was depressing. Oh, and here�s the one�s I bought this year at Marshall�s.
I especially like the angel on a white sled.
I lovingly wrapped my winter Santa tree topper (another divorce gift to myself) in plastic and placed him on top of the ornaments. I�m always afraid he�ll get dirty so I�m extra careful about putting him away in a plastic bag.
I began dismantling the tree. Jackie was watching �The Christmas Story� on tape while I was busy working. The lights are the biggest pain in the butt. I hate putting them on and despise taking them off. Once that�s done, I open the tree box and start tossing in the branches. That task is done relatively quickly.
Once I have the tree and ornaments boxed up, I practically drag myself on to the next task: cleaning out the dreaded tree closet. I�m amazed that I�ve kept broken lamps, my deceased Grandpa�s socks, and other items that should�ve been trashed long ago. Usually, I�d take the items up to the resale shop, but last time I drove by, they�d actually had so many donations that they had to set items on the curb, for free. So, all the useless stuff I�d kept goes into a box. After I was done sorting I set the box on the porch. Now, the closet looks much better.
After I put the tree in the closet, and carefully stacked the ornaments, I knew I wouldn�t be satisfied with just putting the tree away. So, I vacuumed where the tree had been. Next, I moved my furniture around so that the room seemed more open. Aah. Done. I don�t feel quite so claustrophobic now.
I watched for signs of depression after putting the tree away. Instead, I felt very satisfied that we had a really nice holiday this year. I�m satisfied.
What did I learn this year? That would be to buy presents all year long and put them away. It�s financially hard to budget spending oodles of money all at once.
I think I could also be a bit more generous if I didn�t do it all at once.
08:51 - Monday, Jan. 05, 2004
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
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