Many years and many moons ago, it was the beginning of December 1997.
I was living in Jacksonville, Florida while serving in the Navy. One day I was tooling around the city with Silvia, AKA Mexican Goddess, and Jackie, in Silvia's Suzuki sidekick. We were window-shopping at the different upscale Christmas stores. Jacksonville has a lot of upscale Christmas stores, I found out that day.
Sil's favorite store was our last stop of the day. I was aghast that a Christmas tree ornament could cost $18.00. That was a cheap Betty Boop dressed as Ms. Santa Claus. This was 1997. I can�t imagine what an ornament at that store would cost now. I guess people get what they pay for. If you want a handcrafted original ornament you will pay just about anything you can afford.
I really couldn�t afford to shop there, but I was looking for some ideas about our tree. We had a 5-foot skinny looking faded tree. It was ugly. I was hoping with the right placement of fat ornaments that you wouldn�t notice how sparse the tree was.
When Jackie, Silvia and I got past impressive display of the ornaments, she suggested we go look at the trees. I didn�t really want to, considering, I didn�t have much if any money, and I figured the trees, though quite gorgeous for fake trees, would be really expensive. I wasn�t disappointed.
They were. Silvia dragged me all over the back of the store.
I thought they were all really pretty, and didn�t look fake at all. My favorite was a blue fir tree. It over six foot and was gorgeous. I thought about my ugly tree at home and all the work I�d have to do to make it look beautiful.
This tree was this very natural but distinct shade of dark blue-green and had these very realistic looking pinecones on it. No gaps, and full branches. I sighed when I looked down at the price, gulp, and $815.00. Figures.
I did purchase a few ornaments though since I like angels. These had real feathers for wings. Very dainty and cute. I looked at tree-toppers. My favorite was this Victorian Santa in a cream colored robe with fake fur hood and cuffs. He was holding a bag of toys. His price tag was $49.00. I guess I�d have to stick to my star that I had at home.
I was determined to take some ideas home with me.
When we left, I told Silvia that that was the kind of tree I�d buy if I ever had the money. She enthusiastically agreed, because she likes smaller trees. Silvia, married to a Navy officer, was tired of the 10-foot monstrosity that her husband insisted on putting in the living room of their beautiful Miami-beachy house. It had thick shag electric blue carpeting. Must I say more?
I think this man had a size issue. A huge tree. A humongous house on the intercoastal waterway? $10,000 for a designer living room set. Yep, he was making up for something.
I don�t have to say it, but I didn�t like Silvia�s husband, because he treated her like a trophy wife, even after 10 years.
Well, I eventually came up with some ideas for my tree. I decorated the entire tree in white angels. I strung white lights around it, and threw some tacky tinsel on it. It didn�t look too ghetto.
A few days before Christmas, Silvia told me that she found out the Christmas store has a huge sale the day after Christmas. Would I like to go shopping there for next year? And we did.
Of course.
December 26th we were there at 6:30 in the morning before the door opened. The ornaments? Marked down to $4.00 a piece. I bought 8. My gorgeous Santa? I bought for $12.00. I was happy that I was able to buy some beautiful things for the next year.
Silvia finally came over and grabbed my hand. �Come here!� and she dragged me over to the trees. �Look� and she pointed to the tree I wanted. �Look at the price�, she was beaming from ear to ear. �295.00� plus tax.
�Oh, but I don't have that kind of money.� She said, �I�ll buy the tree, and you can pay me back the next few paydays�. I cried, right there in front of the tree, Silvia, Jackie and the staff. You see, my husband had just told me, the week before, that he didn�t love me anymore. I remember staring at him, wanting to smack the smug look off his face. I had forgiven him for the cheating, the emotional hurt I�d suffered because of them. The day he told me this, the week before, I�d stood there, holding our 9 month old daughter in my hands and I couldn�t believe that my husband didn�t want to be married to me anymore. I'd committed the crime of getting fat while pregnant with our daughter. I was having a hard time losing the weight, so he gave up.
So, knowing the next Christmas that I�d be alone, I was comforted knowing I�d be able to see something beautiful after all, in my home.
That tree is gorgeous. It doesn�t look like a 6-year-old tree. Every year when I take it out, I remember first the sadness I felt about the next year. And then I remember that tree. It was worth the $300.00 that I paid for it.
I�m reminded that the year I got that tree, I was surrounded with wonderful friends who loved me, and a daughter who made the world a lot less lonely. I was confused about my love life, but I made my home a home. Silvia knew I was sad, and she did something very selfless by paying for that tree.
She�d been paid back way long before I put up the tree that next December. She�d come over to take me grocery shopping, and I�d put her present under the tree. Bath and Body works lotions. �I love these� she squealed when I pulled the bag out from under the tree.
After she opened her gifts, we just sat quietly and watched the tree cycle through the lights.
�It really is beautiful Melissa,� she said.
�I know, Sil. Thank you for letting me borrow the money to get it.�
�I had to! Every girl needs a glamorous tree!� We laughed and giggled.
Now some years later, when I open that huge box and begin to take out the color coded branches, I remember Silvia. I remember the many years of our friendship, and the many selfless acts of love over those years. I remember holding Jackie on the couch and her falling asleep in my lap when her little eyes would tire of watching the light�s cycle through the Christmas carols.
I remember her lying in my lap like a newborn. Her head propped up on my arm, her chubby little legs splayed out over my lap. I remember her fat little cheeks, the while blonde baby curls, and the long dark blond eyelashes resting on her cherubic cheeks. I remember touching her hair, her face, tracing them with my finger, and thinking that life was going to get better for the both of us.
That tree was more than a tree. It was a symbol of hope.
I remembered it again last night when I was fighting with the branches. It�s silly but every year I�m still surprised with how wide the tree is. It�s like a round table, I swear.
Jackie was watching a movie. My view was blocked by the box. I was lost in thoughts of the Navy, Silvia, Shayne, Jackie and the life I left behind.
After I got the tree together I put my Santa on top. He still looks new. I turned the lights on. Jackie and I just watched the tree for a while. It�s amazing what some evergreen plastic can do for your soul.
9:02 a.m. - Thursday, Nov. 13, 2003
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