The house is quiet. Jackie is at school and Dave is asleep. I shouldn't have went to bed so early last night since tonight I have to work 4 until 2:30 a.m. but I was EXHAUSTED.
As it is..my house is a mess because I have been too tired to clean it up. And right now...I'm thinking of the steam cleaner because soon as Dave wakes up I need to steam clean the spot where Little Bear took a shit and I stepped on it. Yep, first thing in the morning, I put my legs over the side of the bed and step into dog shit. Damn you, Agent Poo.
I heard from a dear friend a few days ago. When I lived in Jacksonville, I had the best friend of all best friends, Silvia.
I rarely talk about her because she went through a lot of shit in the military that NO ONE should have to go through. She was blackballed because she filed sexual harassment charges on her lecherous boss, who touched her in private places, groped her, and said very nasty sexual things to her.
She should have been validated. He should have been called to the carpet for the things he did to her. But this was the Navy in the late 90's and let me tell you, it was all bullshit against women. Before all that shit was said and done, she had to endure a court martial where they tried to make her say that she made it all up and they threatened her with the brig. Turns out...it came to light that she was NOT making it up, that he had not only did this to her but other women there also, but she was BLACKBALLED.
When you are blackballed in the military, they do nasty things like make your life a living hell and try their damndest to make up charges against you so that your entire tour of duty you are facing the captain for some shit or another. It always seemed she triumphed over each one, showing them for who they really were, but each time was a mark on her record. Every time she would go to her next duty station, the assholes at her current command would call the next one and next thing you know, she'd check into her new command and shortly would be facing new charges for some BS.
Try dealing with that for 15 years. Try, try to to endure that while married to an officer who doesn't give two shits about your situation (Because he's loyal to the good-ole boy's club) and won't help you to get counsel or help you defend yourself.
Add that to being given every shit job or a job that even someone with an IQ of 50 could do, because people feel you are a problem and that your reputation has preceeded you.
Worse, you are an extremely attractive natural beauty with an sunny sweet personality and people hate you because you are not weeping in a corner slobbering on yourself. Imagine that you have a "fuck em all" attitude and people who see that try to run you down every way possible to destroy what self-esteem you have.
Now imagine you are me...best friends with this girl, and people find out you are best friends, and one of the biggest shit disturbers in the bunch finds out you are friends and makes my lfe hell too.
So, if this is what they did to her, you can imagine what hell my life was like for the last 3 years at that command also. I rarely talk about what happened in Jacksonville, but suffice it to say I went up against all those mother fuckers and eventually took it to the commanding officer telling her I was going to file a grievance if this was not going to stop. So..the last 3 months of my duty station, I had peace. But not before this bastard, Senior Chief Dickhead, tried to get me kicked of of the Navy for the sixth time. (He never succeeded, but I knew enough that I would never get a fair shake at my next duty station, so I left the military after 5 years).
Anyway, Silvia, besides being my best friend, had been through all this shit years before, and gave me priceless advice about how to proceed to protect myself, and I owe her a debt of gratitude, because has I not had her advice, I probably would've lost my shit and got myself in worse trouble.
Anyway, Silvia and I had a wonderful life together. She did so much for me, and I returned the favor by always being there when she needed me. We talked a lot about our worthless husbands and about our friendships that were high maintenence, and thanked God we had each other.
I never told a lot of people, but Silvia went with me to divorce court. When it was all over, and I came out of the room, I saw her and I started crying. She grabbed my hand and we walked to the elevator. She said the sweetest things to me, and she told me what a worthless POS he was.
After I stopped crying, we went out to celebrate at the Roadhouse Grille. She made a bad day not so terrible, and that was just one of the wonderful things she did for me.
Shortly before my tour in the Navy was over, Silvia was sent to Guam. It seemed that the usual BS was at work there, but it wasn't as bad as it was before. We talked frequently on the phone (she'd call me DSN) and emailed a lot.
Then, I got out and moved back to St. Louis. We kept in touch but over the last couple of years she was getting ready to retire and we sort of lost touch.
And you know..it's just like her to pop up when I need her the most. She emailed me the other day, after months of trying to email me at my old job and getting rejection emails (I no longer have that email address).
We have talked extensively the past few days and she has helped me to put things into perspective. We reminisced about our life in Jax (almost 4 years together) and about all the crazy stuff we did. We did share a chuckle over this race she ran at a Nudist Colony. Boy..was that an experience I will NEVER forget. I do have pictures somewhere.
Well...there is a silver lining in every cloud. Silvia has retired at 40 and is now living in CHICAGO! OMG. That is so CLOSE compared to Diego Garcia or even Yuma. I can't wait to go see her!
It has been 11 years since we met and we still talk. I am amazed at my military friendships that have survived multiple reassignments and duty stations and even separation, like Kevin, who got medical discharge for encephalitis.
I don't have any friends that are still in. Belinda retired and is living in Alabama. Kevin got out and lives in LA. Silvia is in Chicago. The only one still in is James, and the last I checked he was thinking about working in DC for the same people that I work for now.
Anyway, I am so happy right now. Sometimes things happen and you think you are unloveable or that you have nothing to offer. But then someone pops up who lets you know you are wonderful the way you are and INSISTS you never change to make people like you more.
As it is..I admire Silvia so much. She has been through hell and back and has never changed. Yeah, the military beat the hell out of her but she is out now..and they can't torture her anymore. Life is not easy for her right now (family issues) but she is a positive person who knows things don't always stay the same. They change.
I missed her. Man..am I glad to have her back.
6:40 am - March 22, 2007
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
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