Yeah, yeah...I know. I've been slacking.
The truth of the matter is that I have been very busy living life and enjoying every single day. Sometimes..I don't see it necessary to dissect and reflect like I used to.
So..what's been going on..with me?
Well..let's go back. The parole hearing was the last I heard about Rod*ney. I expect to hear from them anyday now. The wait would be agonizing..but I am not letting it get to me this time. I'm tired of losing sleep and hair over that piece of crap.
Ever since the day of the parole hearing..I am gripped by this incredible sense of release, happiness..freedom. I no longer live in fear..and I am not sad or depressed anymore. The anxiety has eased up a lot. No nightmares since the hearing.
I am really happy because my best friend Lisa is pregnant with twins. I prayed so hard and wished so much for her to get pregnant..and now she is and is approaching 3 months into her pregnancy. It seems so surreal..like a dream. I wanted so much for her to be happy and new getting pregnant would be the best thing for her..and now it has happened.
I am the godmother..Yee-haw!
My daughter Jackie started her period last week. She only turned 9 on March 3rd..so I was blown away by it. She was freaked out..had cramps and migraines..the whole bit. I took her to the doctor and he said it was perfectly normal for her to start at this age. Granted..most girls start around age 11, but 9 is normal.
He hoped to allay some of her fears about it all.
I got weighed at the doctor's office and my official weight loss as of last week is about 60 pounds. That is since October.
I have a long way to go..but I'm doing my part by eating well..drinking more water...reducing my portions..and taking the stairs and being more active.
I can't wait to get it all off.
Because of the weight loss..I no longer grapple with asthma...back pain..or fatigue. I now need less sleep. I wake up refreshed...and I am growing more confident about myself every day.
I am dating a few people. A scientist and a guy that works for the government. I talk to a few other people online..
Dating has proved frusterating because as I have said..you take the time to get to know people only to discover that you don't like them and hate what they're all about. My time is valuable. I HATE sending my daughter to a babysitter..so it had better be worth it to meet someone for dinner or a movie.
That's why I talk to people for a while before meeting them. It just feels safer that way.
Jackie has some real issues with me dating..but her her concerns are easing up. I had to talk to her about how even though I love and adore her..and live for her..and she is my life..I need a companion. And I'm not going to find him sitting at home in the house.
I explained to her that if I meet someone who is right for me..not only will she gain a step-dad..but he will offer us protection and will take care of us. I told her that it's not a bad thing. Mostly...Mom just needs a companion. I've been divorced for 6 years..so I'm moving on. She just has to deal with it.
Of course..my ex-husband..who moved on before we were even divorced..had a snooty comment "I'd rather not comment at this time". So it was okay for him to get remarried and not me? Jerk.
Whenever he gets snotty like that..I am reminded why I am so glad we divorced. He just thinks he is superior to other people..and I hate that.
Jackie leaves for Oregon June 2...she will be gone for 2 months. I plan to not spend an evening at home. I will be taking trips to Memphis and to Kansas and to Rolla. I plan to live a little.
I plan to fill that time up with people and friends and family.
Of course I will miss Jackie..but she'll be with her Dad and having a great time..so I won't feel incredibly guilty for her being there.
10:11 am - May 11, 2006
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
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