I did something last night that I thought I�d never do. And since starting work in the �Courage to Heal� workbook, I�d realized that doing this was a necessary part of my healing.
My therapist advised me against it, that it would open a door. I say, I haven�t talked to this person in over 4 years, so I�m not really opening a door. In fact, I�m shutting a door on that chapter of my life.
Last night, while Jackie lay sleeping, I wrote a 4 page, front and back, letter to Darwin. I let him have it. I talked about the wrongs he�d committed against me. I talked about the physical, emotional and sexual abuse. I let him know what a small, evil person he was. I admitted I knew that he existed in this imaginary kingdom where he could do anything to everybody. I mentioned that he should live it up, because someday soon his bones would be six feet under and his soul would be in hell. I said I hoped someone would be shoving pineapples up his butt (I used another word, a biblical term for �donkey�) for all eternity. I closed by saying that the only thing I wanted from him was an obituary. That when he died, I was going to throw a party and I knew a lot of people felt the same way.
And even though it was 8:30 p.m. at night, I addressed it with his name (restraining myself from giving him the middle name �a-hole�) and I drove down to the post office. As I was dropping the envelope in the mailbox, I knew there was no going back, and I was glad.
I slept good last night. I did not fret and worry. If for some reason he gets my phone number, I�ll tell him to F-off, and then I�ll change it again to an unlisted number.
I�m taking back my life from these cretins that abused me. I�m stronger than I ever thought I was.
9:48 am - February 06, 2006
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
bluemeany
idontpretend
whinerwoman
flicka
kungfukitten
awittykitty
artofliving
thegrapevine
trancejen
chicagojo
ingridwrites
bettyford
myexodus
janie12975
vickithecute
drahmaqueen
ruachadonai
bipolarchild
thedetails
irisheyes70
sunshine0221
sallydallydo
allykitty5
dragprincess
tuckandsophi
taken-by-you
pajamamama
soulstyce
biodtl
thedevlyn
erianne1
jackprague78
r-y-r
nimiiwin
wifemotherme
boxx9000
poolagirl
marlen816
wilberteets
mom-on-roof
mpeacock
arianstar
thecrankyone
kayemess
amblus