I�m trying so hard to be positive right now. I�m also trying to blur out the images in my head of trouble that might befall me in the next few weeks.
This time next week? Hopefully, I still have my job. Hopefully, the folks that hold my job in their hands will realize I�ve made mistakes and now trying to rectify them.
The unfortunate truth is, I was only taking care of one of the items before they contacted me. I have to be honest with myself as well as you. You are after all, my diary, and you should be privy to my innermost thoughts as well as my secrets.
It took being questioned about my spending to push me into a panic and taking care of the bills.
I�ve been relying on severe allergy medicine and Librax to make me drowsy enough to sleep at night. It�s unfortunate but stress like this will keep me up all night tossing and turning, and then there are the night terrors. And when I get that tired and stressed, I overeat, overspend and cry a lot. Really, now is not a time for a nervous breakdown.
I need to hold it together somehow.
Depression is starting to sink in. I don�t want to go back on the Prozac, but I might call my doctor anyway.
I don�t want to be a downer, but I am so scattered right now. So many thoughts race through my head constantly and I can�t concentrate on anything. Cleaning has been helping me to clear my head. I find with Jackie gone, I have the energy to put forth into cleaning up my mess and taking good care of all of our critters.
Oh, and the fruit flies are back. The exterminator came in not even two weeks ago. They stayed gone for a week and now they�re back. This whole situation makes me tired.
Part of the problem is the guinea pig. I have got to get rid of her. The fruit flies seem to love her and her cage.
Good things that have happened lately? Well�Rene� took me out to Red Lobster the other night. We were supposed to go see �Mr. And Mrs. Smith� but he showed up too late. Usually it would drive me insane but with all the other stuff I got going on I just preferred to let it go.
Steve W., the professor from Mizz*ou, has now talked to Renee, my sister, also. I was initially against talking to him but I don�t think you should be publishing a story about an event in my life without my input.
He has been very nice. And un-journalistic. If that makes sense.
The article is coming out soon. I�m a little worried, but what�s done is done. I can�t undo it.
I do feel relieved that it�s all coming to fruition.
I�m going out to Cinder�s on Saturday. My aunt Ruth Ann will be in town on Saturday so I guess we�re going to barbecue or something. I don�t really want to go. I want to sit home and wallow, but I need to get out of the house anyway.
Lisa and I are going to get our nails done today. That will be nice. My purse is literally ripping at the seams. I may go and try to find a new one so that if I do have interviews coming up I have a nice purse.
Tomorrow is payday. I have five items to pay tomorrow that those people are asking me about. That will make 8 of the 11 items paid. I hope this will be sufficient to convince them to let me keep my job.
My cousin recommended that a financial statement would be beneficial for my case.
I already did my mental health statement. It should help my case that I have never been diagnosed by a psychologist or psychiatrist as being bipolar. A medical doctor made the diagnosis, during a time of duress.
All of your prayers and good thoughts would be so appreciated.
Thanks.
9:08 am - June 23, 2005
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
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