When I said that Kevin was alive, I guess I jumped the gun. Because I got a letter from Kevin on Monday.
Kevin is HIV positive. I am so sad, but mostly shocked. Before anyone can say, �This is always a risk when you�re homosexual�, know that the encounter that led to the infection was not consensual. Kevin has since pressed charges against this individual but said individual has left the boarding house where they all lived. Turns out everyone knew the creep was HIV positive. Kevin, being the new tenant, did not know. I don�t know if it would�ve made a difference, because the dude attacked, beat and overpowered Kevin before it happened.
I�m thinking now about what I�m going to do. Of course, I will respond with a phone call. Part of me wants to ask him to move to St. Louis so I can help him with doctor�s appointments and support. If he got really sick, he could move in with me. I�d make room.
I just cannot fathom one of my oldest dearest friends in this world being this sick, and me not being there to help him. He helped me so much and was so good to me when I was pregnant with Jackie. I can never repay the kindnesses he bestowed upon me.
It�s strange. Before this, I knew of someone that had HIV, but we were never close, and I haven�t seen her for about 3 years. HIV has never struck a person close to me, until now.
I was trying to read up on the life expectancy of a person with HIV. I didn�t get very far. I don�t know if they just don�t want to depress us, but I feel I need to know. If my thinking is right, when you are HIV positive, you can be well for some years, as long as you take your medicine. However, when the disease morphs into AIDS then the time begins ticking for you. The life expectancy I saw for AIDS was anywhere from 6 months to a couple of years.
Dearest Kevin�my heart aches for you. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling right now.
Anything else I might say today pales in comparison to that news..but I forge on.
Jackie got on the plane okay today. I wanted to slap the crap out of the lady at the gate, she was sort of rude. But I decided not to create any bad karma so I let it go. Plus, I knew if I looked at her the wrong way I could end up on some terrorist watch list and be banned from the airport. No thanks.
I didn�t cry this time. I watched Jackie�s plane take off, I waved for as long as I thought she could see me, and I went back to the main terminal to where Rene� was waiting for me. He let me sit and rest for a moment or two. I told him about the trek down to the very last gate, all way at the end of the terminal.
Man, can you get some exercise at the airport!!!
Lisa met up with Rene and me� and we headed out. We were all very tired because we�d gotten up at o� dark thirty to get Jackie ready to go. Me, I got up at 4. I was sleepy.
Lisa fell asleep briefly on the way home. I sat and talked to Rene�. He held my hand, like old times. It�s times like these I wish we had something for each other. But now, it�s kind of like we�ve settled into this comfortable pattern and there�s no room for any romance of any kind. I mean, I know Rene� loves me, but he cannot be in a committed relationship.
Work yesterday, was long and hellacious. I was only there for like 3.5 hours until we had a drill and had to evacuate the building. We stood out in the blaring heat for over 2 hours. I began to feel like I had heatstroke, so right after it was all over, I left for the day.
My sister Melinda had sent me some money Western Union. I went and picked that up and headed over to QT to get some money orders. I�m paying 2 of my bills with this cash. The old Bellsouth Phone Bill and the payment to my sleep doctor. I felt really good sending that sleep doctor payment out to him.
Last night, I took a shower early, and got into bed to watch TV about 10 minutes till 9. I began to get very drowsy, so I turned off the TV after watching the first five minutes of the news. I had just settled into some good sleep when my phone rang. It was Jackie again. We had just talked 3 hours before. I guess she was already missing me.
I could hear it in her voice.
I tried to be cheery though and reminded her about how much fun she�s going to have in Oregon. I think I managed to hype her up. All I know is, the kid got 6 hours of sleep Monday night. She didn�t sleep at all on the plane. And they are 2 hours behind us. I know she had to be exhausted.
Before we got off the phone, she told me she loved me very much. It�s these times that are so precious. I think when we are in each other�s presence we sometimes take each other for granted. It�s when we are away from each other that we find out just how much we adore the other person.
12:23 pm - June 15, 2005
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
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