Gosh, Christmas can�t get here fast enough. I let Jackie open another one of her presents last night, thinking it was the Carmen and Juni from �Spy Kids� that I got her. I�m so stupid.
Instead, it was an EXPENSIVE Barbie that I�d gotten her. Drat! I wanted to save that for Christmas morning.
I still may go to Toys R� Us and buy Jackie the Quantum Pad for the 3rd grade. I don�t think it hurts to get a head start. Besides, Jackie loves to learn, and I think she�d enjoy it. She loved her Leap Pad before she outgrew it.
One of the cool things I bought Jackie for Christmas is an easel. An easel! I always wanted one of those as a kid and no one ever got me one.
Problem is, there�s nowhere in this house to put it. You can�t even walk in her room, much less finagle a corner space for this thing. I�m not lying when I say Jackie�s room is the black hole of the universe.
I�m so sick of clutter. Everywhere I look is more crap.
Every week I throw out a few bags of trash and yet I still find more crap to throw away! How do two people generate so much trash and yet not have enough space in their home to put everything? This apartment is 1000 square feet and I don�t have enough space? That is just sorry.
I hope this is not something I look forward to as a single parent. Not having the time or energy to keep the house clean and organized. Because that would really SUCK!
Sigh. I should be an old pro at this, but I�m not. I hate single parent status.
I was supposed to put the Christmas lights on my divorce tree last night. However, I was foiled by a surprise migraine, my first in a year! I used to get migraines once a month, and all of the sudden they just stopped. That�s what I get for thinking to myself that it had been quite a long time since the last one.
Luckily, I had some hydrocordone left over from my visit to the dentist and it made a considerable dent in my pain.
The evening was still ruined. I felt bad for being inactive and not having those stupid lights up yet. The pressure of Christmas doesn�t make me feel alive, that�s for sure.
Have I mentioned why I call my tree the divorce tree? Well, it�s not really a bad thing�.
When Shayne left me, which was coincidentally, a few weeks before Christmas, my friend Silvia called me and enlisted my help in ornament shopping, which was a ploy to get me out of the house and interrupt my pity party.
Silvia didn�t go to cheap places, nope, she went to those fancy schmancy shops. It was fun to window shop, Uppity Ville, Florida.
I didn�t have any money to buy anything, since it was a few days before my payday. I just looked.
First we looked at the ornaments. Handmade, glass blown, hand painted. Frou frou. Beautiful and unique.
Silvia didn�t need a tree, but we looked at those too. I fell in love with this blue fir, but not the price. It was $419.00. I suffered brief but intense sticker shock. This wasn�t a $29.99 special like the one I had at home.
Silvia thought it was a beauty too. And that was all that was said about it.
Until the day after Christmas. Silvia called me bright and early and proposed we go to the after Christmas sale. So, she came and got me and Jackie, and we headed out to Le Petite Christmas Shoppe.
I bought 5 really neat ornaments for cheap.
Then, Silvia had me walk over to the trees. I had to go see the blue fir.
After some wandering I found it. And the price was now, ta da, $185.00. I was sad. I knew I couldn�t afford it with bills being due and all.
But Silvia had other plans in mind: She proposed that she put in on her credit card and I could make payments. �After all, Melissa, you should treat yourself to something beautiful. What, with Shayne doing you dirty like he did��
And like that, the tree became mine.
The next Christmas came, and it was a month before my divorce was final. Somehow, the tree meant something special to me, about self-love and liberation. I decorated it with a huge smile on my face.
So, that is how it became my divorce tree. And when I say that, I smile. The tree was worth $419.00, but the effect on me was priceless.
I told the story last year, but it�s always fun to tell it again.
This week, I also have to put up the Christmas lights on the porch. I�m too short thought to reach the ledge and the thought of hoisting this body up in a chair, well, it scares me.
I�m not good at this decorating stuff.
With me being clumsy and all.
I would�ve never made it in gymnastics or even cheerleading. Glad I didn�t try.
12:34 pm - December 07, 2004
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
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