This is the first time I�ve really been able to rest in weeks. I�m tired.
Oh, I just have to bring it up..Ashley Simpson's lip-synching, hilarious. How embarrassing!!
Life has been super busy.
I can�t get enough sleep lately. I�m not depressed, so I don�t know why that is. I�ve just been exhausted.
It�s nighty-night at 9:45 every night and I�m always oversleeping and waking up at 6:30 in the morning instead of 6:00 a.m. I can�t seem to wake up in a timely matter lately.
Then I rush like hell to get myself and Jackie dressed. I�m a royal you-know-what first thing in the morning because that�s when Jackie and I have a majority of our fights is at that time. I�m so out of it that I just growl and crab at her about everything. I�m going to try to put a lid on that because I think it borders on being borderline verbal abuse. That�s exactly how mean I am when I first get up.
We�re out the door at 6:45, which is 15 minutes later than we should be out the door.
Sucks.
I feel like such a crappy mom.
My Grandma�s birthday is November the 3rd. We�re going to go over and see her on Sunday, which by the way is Halloween! I don�t even know how old my Grandma is now. Old as dirt? Maybe. Went to high school with Moses and Jesus signed her yearbook? Probably. She�d kick me in the shins for saying that�but a girl�s gotta have a sense of humor.
I�d like to take this time to send a shout-out to my adopted ma, Cindy. Adopted ma called me at 10:30, right in the middle of that slobber on my pillow and snore sleep last night, to extend Jackie a last minute invitation to spend the night Friday. I love ya ma, but don�t call me that late on a weeknight, unless it�s the day before a holiday. Okay? Because you will get what you got last night which was �Um,uh�hallo?� and further grogginess and confusion on my part. You will end up frustrated because usually when people call me late at night, I forget what I talked to them about. It�s true!
I didn�t bring it up but I went to Bath and Body Works Monday night. Last week my sister in Tampa called me to tell me about these two items I must get. One is a lotion that you use, like conditioner for your body, in the shower. Then you rinse it off and your skin is heavenly soft. Love it! Bought that, and a big tube of this stuff called Lay it on Thick which is mainly shea butter. Good stuff. I also bought the cr�me body rinse, the body cr�me and the body scrub from the Coconut, Lime and Verbena line. Yum yum.
Then, we went over to the kid�s section and got Jackie the blueberry body wash and body lotion.
I spent some serious cash in that place, but I love it. It just so happened that the few must haves were expensive. What�s a girl to do? We gotta have our smell-good!
I ordered a few things for myself online last week. The big item was a double-breasted ankle length red wool coat. It�s a beauty! And I paid $109.00 for it and the damn thing better last longer than a year. I bought the coat from Jessica London catalogue (they have a website) and I bought two blouses from Roaman�s (they too have a website). I like both catalogues, but I wish they�d cut it out with some of that old lady crap, like pleated skirts and shoulder pads. Eww!
Anyway, all items shipped Wednesday so I should get them soon.
I love getting boxes in the mail.
Speaking of boxes, my niece sent me something for my birthday and I should get that in a few days.
I�ve also done a lot of thinking lately. I was thinking about Rodn*ey Linco*ln yesterday. He�s the guy that killed my mom and tried to kill my sister and me.
Often times I�ve heard that hate and love go hand in hand. I don�t think it�s true in my case. I�ve never had anything but contempt for that..that animal. I think my hatred for him is something more. Something more than hatred. Something darker than hate. Something that scares me. It�s such a primal feeling. I wish I could describe it.
He robbed me of so much. I know I spend a lot of time in my past. Maybe it�s because I want to UNDERSTAND it. I don�t understand why someone would want to kill a four year old and a seven year old. I just don�t get it. And the little light switch that�s supposed to go on and stop one from doing something so heinous was never tripped with him.
I may never understand. I will probably never get the answers to all my questions. Why did he kill my mom? Why was it necessary to kill Renee and me? Why did he rape all of us? Why did he sit around and watch TV while my mom�s body lay in the middle of the floor, bleeding to death? Was he on drugs? I think it was mainly alcohol. There is such a thing as a mean drunk�and I think he might have been one of them.
Mean as a snake, and evil as hell. Yes he is.
8:59 am - October 28, 2004
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
bluemeany
idontpretend
whinerwoman
flicka
kungfukitten
awittykitty
artofliving
thegrapevine
trancejen
chicagojo
ingridwrites
bettyford
myexodus
janie12975
vickithecute
drahmaqueen
ruachadonai
bipolarchild
thedetails
irisheyes70
sunshine0221
sallydallydo
allykitty5
dragprincess
tuckandsophi
taken-by-you
pajamamama
soulstyce
biodtl
thedevlyn
erianne1
jackprague78
r-y-r
nimiiwin
wifemotherme
boxx9000
poolagirl
marlen816
wilberteets
mom-on-roof
mpeacock
arianstar
thecrankyone
kayemess
amblus