Yesterday it was so hot. With the heat index, the temperature outside was somewhere near 115 degrees. That�s so not natural.
Still, we had plans to go fishing at Susson Park with Romy at 7:00 p.m. We were hoping that if we waited until later in the afternoon to go it wouldn�t be so hot.
Who were we fooling?
It was a virtual oven, even right next to the pond, where a breeze should�ve come off the water.
The fishing pole I bought at K-Mart didn�t work. I should�ve known not to buy from there. Something kept telling me to go to Sports Authority, but did I listen? No. I went the cheapie route, paid $14.99, and got something that didn�t function the way a fishing rod should. Even when you turned the handle, it wouldn�t retract the line, so I had to manually pull the line back up out of the water. How irritating.
I ended up fishing with Jackie�s Scooby Doo pole. I�m sure I looked like a moron to the two cute hotties that walked past us. The fish weren�t biting.
Though we didn�t catch anything we had fun feeding the ducks. They swarmed around us once they figured out we had food. It was almost like a scene out of �The Birds�. I felt like maybe they were waiting for one false move and they were going to swarm. We gave them some corn chips and they loved them. I�d never been that close to ducks and geese before so it was pretty nifty.
We also saw a giant frog and a snake by the bridge. Jackie was really grossed out by the snake, which is sort of funny because stuff like that really doesn�t bother me. She can be so girly sometimes.
I sat outside and talked to Romy for a while last night. I told her how strangely peaceful I felt about breaking things off with Lisa. I told her that if I�d done the wrong thing or ended the friendship out of spite I�d probably feel terrible. Instead, I feel peaceful, like maybe it was the right thing to do for me.
Yeah, I was mad when I said it was over, but the general sentiment of �enough is enough� had been building for some time. It�s not that Lisa�s a bad person, she�s a great person, but we�re not compatible people. The very thing that is the essence of who I am: my honesty, is something that she finds extremely irritating. I can�t change who I am for her or anyone else. I would feel stifled.
I�ve never had a friend who felt threatened by my openness and willingness to be upfront. It�s strange.
I think that maybe she�s right, that time does heal all wounds. If anything I would hope that Lisa learns something from all of this because I know I did. I hope she understands that friends are friends because they love us. You don�t have to be carbon copies of each other. And of course, that you must stand up for what�s right. I stood up and said, �The way your man treats you is not nice, not right, not the way a wife should be treated. I�m sick of seeing you unhappy.�
Obviously she didn�t want to hear it and that didn�t work so I�m moving on. What is there to say now? Nothing.
I�m moving past all the maintenance and drama. I don�t need that in my life anymore. I�m not going to change the core parts of me that make me who I am just to please other people. I�m not going to change the fact that I�m honest to a fault. I�m not going to change the fact that I have zero tolerance for BS. I�m not going to be friends with people who are insecure and jealous of my other friends.
I can change bad habits but I will not change who I am for anyone. If I learned anything during that hellacious year I�ve had, it�s that you�ve got to stick to your guns when you know you�re right. And you�ve got to stand up for people that can�t do it for themselves. I�ve tried to be a stand-up kind of person.
There�s a vast difference between being a chameleon that�ll change her colors for anyone and being a steadfast but healthily evolving person. I�m not going to change what I�m about to make another person happy. Because then, I would not be the same person that they came to know and love and our relationship would be built on dishonesty, which is never good.
Last night when Jackie and I were laying in bed talking I told her that Ms. Lisa and me had another fight. I told her that I told Ms. Lisa that I didn�t like the way Doug was so mean to her. Then I told her I decided not to be friends with Ms. Lisa anymore because Lisa didn�t like it when I said things like that.
Jackie cried a little. �I�m never going to see Jacob again? Can�t I go to his birthday party? Can�t he come to mine?� I told her that probably wouldn�t be possible. I told her I didn�t know what was going to happen, but it was possible we�d never see them again, unless it was by accident.
She thought about it for a while and said, �Mom, I know if you said something to Lisa about Doug, you must�ve had a good reason�� My child has faith in me that no one else has. That comforts me. She knows what was in my heart. And she�s only seven years old.
1:28 pm - July 14, 2004
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
bluemeany
idontpretend
whinerwoman
flicka
kungfukitten
awittykitty
artofliving
thegrapevine
trancejen
chicagojo
ingridwrites
bettyford
myexodus
janie12975
vickithecute
drahmaqueen
ruachadonai
bipolarchild
thedetails
irisheyes70
sunshine0221
sallydallydo
allykitty5
dragprincess
tuckandsophi
taken-by-you
pajamamama
soulstyce
biodtl
thedevlyn
erianne1
jackprague78
r-y-r
nimiiwin
wifemotherme
boxx9000
poolagirl
marlen816
wilberteets
mom-on-roof
mpeacock
arianstar
thecrankyone
kayemess
amblus