I have often wondered when a parent falls out of favor with their child�is it when they�re about 13 or 14? That�s about how old I was when I started to really see life wasn�t a bowl of cherries and I started taking a real close look at the adults around me.
I used to think so because of the raging hormones..but after I�ve had to deal with so much drama lately with Jackie I�m thinking that the kids start hating you around 6 or 7.
I�m fighting so much with Jackie lately. She�s been grounded frequently. Yesterday, Jackie was in such a rage because she couldn�t go play at Dax�s house. It was 7:30 p.m., which is a full hour later than I usually let her play at a friend�s on a school night.
I believe some of the faith affirming statements she made were:
�You�re ruining my life!� and �You just want me to stay inside and have no friends...� or my personal favorite, �You want me to be bored!� (Oh, yes, I want you to be up my butt 24-7 because I�m a mean mommy!)
It makes me shake my head in disbelief. I was 7 when she died but I knew I would�ve NEVER talked to my mother that way. Even though she was a loving person, my mom was the sort of mom who would drag you down the street by your hair for backtalk or she might even dig her nails in your arm when you were misbehaving in front of company, since she couldn�t very well be reduced to spanking you in front of other people.
My mom didn�t put up with any lip. I admire that. I don�t know what I�m doing wrong. I�ve repeatedly told Jackie that it�s okay to be mad or sad, but it�s never okay to be disrespectful or rude. I just keep repeating that, mostly because I think Jackie should be entitled to her feelings and should explore them in a way that isn�t hurtful to others.
After Jackie�s 20 minute crying, sputtering and whining tirade, Jackie suddenly became apologetic and complacent, and it was like she hadn�t done had a fit in the first place. Eerie, I tell you. Immediately Jackie told me how sorry she was and from that moment on she was hell bent on showing me how sorry she was.
Weird when the personality does the old switcheroo, isn�t it?
I would�ve liked to think that maybe she was manipulating me, but there was some real emotion and tears there. For the rest of the evening, Jackie was an angel.
I�m exhausted by these episodes. Are they normal? Do all kids throw fits, even when they�re 7 years old?
I don�t want to think this has anything to do with hormones. Please God, no, it�s way too early. I want Jackie to stay a kid for as long as possible.
Yet, I want her to be mature enough to handle her emotions and that takes practice. I�m hoping she�ll learn that if you want one thing, you need to act a certain way.
At least give me the appearance of respecting me. It�s the least you can do for someone who�s given birth to you, loved you, cherished you, raised you, nurtured you�do I need to go on? There�s a certain way for one to treat one�s mother. A certain decorum, if you will.
Jackie doesn't have to like me but I do have to love her. And no matter what, I'm the boss and she has to obey me.
She might as well get used to being grounded for her nasty attitude.
I love my daughter but I won't allow her to walk on me.
12:57 pm - April 13, 2004
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
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