Jackie got a box in the mail yesterday. It was from her Godfather Kevin (my Navy buddy). He sent a giant yummy smelling Strawberry Shortcake doll and $40.00 for the birthday girl. Jackie bragged that she�s �richer� than her mommy. I thought it was really thoughtful. I took a few pictures of her with it so that we can send it to him.
Last night, Jackie�s little birthday party went fine. The kids were there from 6:00 p.m. till 7:00 p.m. That was enough time to eat cake and ice cream, open presents and yap aimlessly and loudly for a little while.
I was still irritated with Jackie because she had not cleaned her room as I requested and in fact she chose to disregard most of the instructions I gave her yesterday such as put your toys away, clean up your floor, pick up that trash. Did she listen? Nope.
If it weren�t her birthday she�d probably be grounded.
Lisa was there to help me, thank God. I think she could tell I was on edge and she helped me out a lot with the kids. We did the �happy birthday� dance for the kids, which promptly drew guffaws and catcalls like �you can�t dance� from the kids. Jackie cracked up. We also took lots of pictures of the kids. Thank God at least my dining room was clean so I can be spared the embarrassment of a dirty house in Jackie�s birthday pictures.
Jackie had a nice birthday. I bought her a TV for her room, �Monsters Inc�, a small Strawberry Shortcake doll, a Care Bear (blue, bedtime bear), a My little Pony, and some other assorted gifts. Lisa and Jake got her �Freaky Friday� and I was glad because this is a really enjoyable family movie.
When the time was up I promptly shoved all the kids out the door with a piece of cake for their parents.
I feel awful, but I was so tired yesterday and very irritable.
The dog�s been waking me up the past few nights barking his fool head off. Of course I sleep walk if I�m woken up in the middle of the night and ended up each time in the living room, all bewildered.
The dog is cute, but he�s getting on my nerves. Besides the fact that boyfriend tore up my blinds in the living room, he also ran out the door twice yesterday chasing a stupid cat.
He chose to run out the door precisely as the birthday party guests started to arrive and I had to traipse through soggy, muddy grass to snatch him.
Little turd.
I�m not getting much sleep lately. This morning I got up at 6:12
and actually let Jackie talk me into going back to sleep for a
few minutes.
Today I�m exhausted. I�m dreading going home because Cindy is going to be there right after work. She always crabs at me for smoking in the house (close to the air purifier!) and I hate it when she does that. I also stress about going to pick Jackie up on Sunday because I go through a somewhat bad neighborhood. It�s worth it though to have some time by myself.
I desperately need enough alone time to shave my hairy-ass legs, do my raggedy nails and give myself a nice facial. I�d appreciate it very much.
I�m sort of nervous about Jackie going out to my adopted Mom�s house until Sunday. Jackie has a hard time sleeping without me, and I feel bad I won�t see her for all that time. But me and daughter are having issues and driving each other nuts so maybe it�s best we take a few days rest. (Hey, I rhymed!)
I think it would do us good to have a few days off from each other.
Plus Mr. Sweatpants and I plan to go see �The Passion of Christ�, which I think, in all actuality, will be a wonderful movie. I�m an emotional wench. I cried during most of �Schindler�s List� and still visit the sites of Holocaust Survivors and my heart aches for them. That being said, if �The Passion� is the least bit Anti-Semitic it will not sway me from the compassion I have for the Jewish people. I hope it won�t be �Anti-Jew�, but even if it were I would never doubt that the Holocaust happened. It will not cause me to hate a Jewish person or to blame them for Jesus death. I�m not stupid.
That is preposterous.
My adopted mom is Mormon, and she told me that within the church and on the Mormon boards people are in a tizzy over this movie. The fact that the movie is rated R has caused some consternation within the church. You are not supposed to watch anything rated R and not faith affirming.
My mom had a point. She just said, �Well, we still have our free agency� which means: free will.
I think we�re adult enough to determine whether we are mature enough for the movie. I mean, the crucifixion is not for the faint of heart.
I know I will bawl like a baby. How can I be so emotional about Christ when I�m not the least bit religious? Hmm. I guess it�s because I doubt a lot of things in my life but I do not doubt that God sent his only son to earth to be crucified for our benefit.
I may doubt religion and man�s intentions but I do not doubt God.
I may doubt preachers and ministers but I do not doubt that I have a loving father up in heaven.
I may doubt organizations and administrations and United Whatever Churches but I don�t doubt that God has sent his angels to stay with me in my darkest times.
I do not doubt that I have a purpose on this earth.
I believe that Christ once walked this earth, and that makes me feel great because he knows what it�s like to be human. It�s no picnic, I�m sure he knows, and I feel good knowing that he�s been there, done that and that on the basis of his own experience as a human he will judge me.
I have no doubt about the afterlife. I have no doubt that those on earth afflicted with things that make one�s heart heavy will be healed someday.
I think heaven will be a place of unconditional love and acceptance for everyone.
Except for Rodn*ey Linc*oln. I do not think he will go to heaven and that�s my prerogative. I just think there are some crimes that you can�t get forgiveness for. I�m sure victims of September 11th and the Holocaust identify with that.
And with that, I will get off my little emotional soapbox.
13:36 - Thursday, Mar. 04, 2004
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
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