Whoopee! I can hardly wait. Tomorrow night I have Parent/Teacher Conference. It would be something I�d look forward to, if only I got along with Jackie�s teacher. I�m nervous about it, because as a mother I get emotional and defensive about it. My kid has been through hell thanks to her father and she is a bit insecure about herself and the world around her.
Unfortunately, Jackie�s teacher communicated in a few ways that she disapproved of my home life and felt Jackie needs counseling. Because of me. She says this as if I was throwing wild ecstasy parties and participating in drunken debauchery. As if!
She nitpicks my daughter to death. I can�t even begin to illustrate the ways Ms. Nitpicky seeps into our home life. Jackie thinks she can�t trust Ms. Nitpicky because Ms. Nitpicky doesn�t listen to her. Now I�m mad!
Jackie�s kindergarten teacher was the most personable, most likeable person. Even after she told me my daughter�s weak areas, I couldn�t help but be enthused about my daughter�s good areas that she told me about. I didn�t feel upset or resentful.
It�s because she tempered criticism with positive feedback.
Thanks Lisa for helping me figure that out.
Now that Jackie�s in first grade, I know we are moving on to bigger and better things. With that come more responsibility and more expectations of the child. I don�t expect Jackie to know everything about school, how to act, how to be�.but I know she knows how to behave. I know she knows how to treat other people, and I know she knows how to listen to the teacher.
What she doesn�t have is an attention span. I�m working on that with her. And then she gets upset when she doesn�t know how to do something. That�s when I patiently try to explain to her that this is about learning, not about being perfect. Jackie is a pretty sensitive kid. She�s not a crybaby, but will become withdrawn and unhappy if she thinks someone doesn�t approve of her. She thinks her teacher doesn�t like her. I bet that�s why Jackie�s not asking for help when she�s not getting something.
�You have another year or so to learn about this stuff Jaq,� I tell her, �so just be patient.� You�ll learn it, kiddo, I swear.
But when a teacher nitpicks me, the mother of the child, or then again nitpicks my kid for something I did, I start to think I�m dealing with Agatha Trenchbull instead of a seasoned educator. Where�s the riding crop, you hag? Course, I don�t call her names in front of Jackie because Jackie might accidentally call her a hag, and that wouldn�t be funny.
I feel like Jackie�s enrolled in a military academy of perfection and brimming with hundreds of Type A personalities. Everyone is perfect and prim and proper. Not a stray hair out of place, not a wrinkle to be seen. But this is public school, and an excellent public school at that. Kids are able to be themselves, unless of course they are in class with Jackie and Ms. Nitpicky. I can�t stand this lady. She thinks she�s the model of parental perfection and educational ideal. Obviously, I�m just the stupid dumb idiotic parent to her.
I always put Jackie first. Her education is very important to me and she knows this. School comes first. I told Jackie that her education is something no one can ever take away.
Thinking it may help, I try to also communicate with her teacher, explaining we�ve had to do a bit of adjusting at home this past year. Most teachers would take this into consideration; however, the teacher throws the information back at me in a sarcastic tone.
Because I�m bipolar, and because I�m a single parent.
I�d like to think that this isn�t an issue of prejudice against me, but it is. It�s not about Jackie, nope. Her teacher seems to think that my bipolar makes me less of a mom, a less capable mom.
I�m insulted. I became bipolar because of a bit of genetics mixed in with a lot of abuse at the hands of the adults in my young life. I was beaten, emotionally battered and sexually assaulted by one of my uncles. Then, of course, the attack. That itself would�ve caused this condition.
I didn�t ask for any of that. My mind dealt with these things in it�s own way; I�m lucky I don�t have multiple personalities or borderline affective personality problems.
But the good news is that the conference is only 15 unbearable minutes. I�ve told Jackie that there will be times she runs into teachers she doesn�t like, and the best thing is to make good grades, do what you�re told, and to behave. If that doesn�t work, then maybe it�ll be time for drastic measures.
15:15 - Monday, Nov. 17, 2003
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
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