Not much to talk about today. But of course, I will talk, er, write, because that�s what I do.
You know, very few people in my �real� life know about this journal. The ones I tell about it, well, I trust them infinitely with my feelings. Because I often bare my soul here, I wonder if I�ll be able to look those people in the eye somedays. It�s hard to know that that person knows your dreams and disappointments; on the other hand, it is also part of my self-destructive streak. I show a person my soul..and ultimately they may keep their distance.
I wish everybody kept a journal. That I could read. I�m nosy. People�s lives are truly fascinating. I look at the 11 of you that have me marked as a favorite and I wonder, what must they think about me? Am I truly as bonkers as I come across? What is their general opinion of Ms. Xnavygrrl?
My friend, who told me jokingly that his parents wanted to name him Shadrach, Meschach and Abendigo, I wonder if you look at me differently now that you�ve essentially got my life story at your fingertips. Have you already read about you? Hopefully I didn�t delete it. Yes, I develop my little crushes, but I�m essentially harmless. I�d never take advantage of our blossoming friendship.
Riker from high school. You called me. You tried to be a friend to me again. I was having a hard time with my reality. I finally called you back when I got a foothold on things, but I haven�t heard from you since. I�m just a bit horrified that you might think I�m nuts, because I�m really not.
And Salsalita..has this been a curse or a blessing? A lot goes on in my head sometimes. I wanted you to understand my perceptions, hang-ups and fears. I think it has been a blessing in our friendship. Not only that, but our kids will someday have a record of our lives, at the same time.
My online diaryland friends have been so supportive, so awesome. It makes me feel special that you care what happens in my life. You�ve been with me through so many ups and downs this year that you probably feel like you�re a bipolar too. Sorry.
I guess I�ve tried to be honest to a fault here. I�m not disappointed at all in the whole experience. I�m thankful I have a record of the last 9 months of my life. The journal has forced me to be honest with myself and those I love, and I�ve found it to be a healing experience.
I guess my only worry is my future love. That guy that makes it all happen for me. Will I let him read this? I don�t know. What if you found out about someone�s life with no effort and minimal time? I guess it wouldn�t be an effort to court me. So, maybe I keep it secret for a while.
My daughter? She�s going to know her mother in a way that most kids will never know. Hopefully, that�s a good thing.
1:23 p.m. - Wednesday, Nov. 05, 2003
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
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