Sorry, I had to add some more info in here. My cubemate told me that the investigators called to schedule an appointment with her tomorrow. Oh. I hate talking to them. They pick apart my life and ask me questions about things I don't want to answer. Last time I chatted with one, I ended up in a sniveling heap on the floor. Because they asked me about my mom. And I hate talking about my mom with people who don't know me. Because it's traumatizing. Because I didn't do anything wrong and people like the goons expect me to be the crazy one.
And then I have to explain everything away by telling them I'm bi-polar. I know they'll care deeply. It's not my fault I have this. It doesn't make me any less of a person either because I am. I love the same, maybe I'm a little more fierce, and jealous. Did I say the jealous part? Yes I did.
I hate the investigators. National security seems to ride on their decisions. I'm getting nervous already. I'm watching the phone..dreading their call.
The investigators work for the government. I hate them. They couldn't really give a snit about anything. The jerk I had last seem to think it fun to get in my face. I don't like that. I wanted to smack him, but then I'd end up in fort leavenworth. Jerk.
Otherwise, it was a great weekend. Jackie and I are still sick with this virus, but all in all, I can't complain.
Lisa, I wrote you a 6 page letter explaining everything. I think the hallmark of being bipolar is sometimes you get paranoid. And, I didn't think before I wrote everything out. I certainly didn't mean to hurt you but wanted you to know that I'm not getting enough time with you. You're so busy, and I guess that's what sucks about me. I'm selfish with those I love. Bad Missy! Bad girl!
I also sent Jacob a little gift. It's in a Teddy Bear mailer.
The 6 months ago that I was mad at you..I believe I was referring to the incident with the letter. Has it really been a year? Then I am mentally ill because it seemed to be in the early spring.
I'm not perfect. I suck. But I miss you. Can't you just ignore me sometimes?
10:19 a.m. - Monday, Oct. 27, 2003
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
bluemeany
idontpretend
whinerwoman
flicka
kungfukitten
awittykitty
artofliving
thegrapevine
trancejen
chicagojo
ingridwrites
bettyford
myexodus
janie12975
vickithecute
drahmaqueen
ruachadonai
bipolarchild
thedetails
irisheyes70
sunshine0221
sallydallydo
allykitty5
dragprincess
tuckandsophi
taken-by-you
pajamamama
soulstyce
biodtl
thedevlyn
erianne1
jackprague78
r-y-r
nimiiwin
wifemotherme
boxx9000
poolagirl
marlen816
wilberteets
mom-on-roof
mpeacock
arianstar
thecrankyone
kayemess
amblus