Hi. This weekend wasn�t really eventful, but I�d rather take so-so instead of hectic. I tried to spend the most time talking to Jackie, as I�m starting to see with little kids that�s the most important. I�ve also had to be more attentive to showing her that I hear what she says. Sometimes I�m just so happy to relax that I tune everything out, and when I notice that�s she�s said something, that I didn�t hear what it was. I�m making an effort, even if I sound like a moron, to ask her to repeat what she said and she�s usually happy to oblige. Gosh, usually it�s the other way around, you know, kids and their selective hearing.
I�m had insomnia recently, and I just despise having to take any sort of sleeping medicine because I am hung over the next day. So I suffer.
Usually. My recent insomnia though, had me asking for my mamma, my grandmamma, some sleeping pills and some kinda alcohol. It was miserable.
It started Wednesday night, after I found out Jackie has asthma. Then, Thursday night and Friday night, I tossed and turned from 10:30 p.m. until 2:00 a.m. I wanted to cry. Instead, I got up, fumbled around in the medicine cabinet until I found the box, and took � a Sominex tablet. I did sleep both nights, but I was very hungover both days.
Of course, Friday night, I was wide-eyed again, and Saturday night, and Sunday night, and I�m just about sick of this insomnia. This is the worst it�s been in a while. It makes me want to cry, feeling exhausted, weak, tired, overwhelmed and not being able to sleep night after night on top of that is ridiculous. I�m anxious, depressed and over-tired and overmedicated.
I don�t know what to do, but I�ll talk to my doctor about it tomorrow.
Lisa and Doug left for Las Vegas yesterday. They are getting married tomorrow. I wish I could be there�but it�s THE romantic thing to do..and I understand. She�s going to look so beautiful, and they�re going to have such an awesome time in Vegas. And then this Friday they are having their reception at Orlando�s.
I want to be happy and excited with her, but I have the blahs so bad that I�m probably going to have to take medicine so I can dig myself out. I�m just not really happy about anything anymore, and I haven�t been for a while. I�m sorry Lisa. I suck.
I�m feeling blah today. I�m mad. My best friend is getting married and I put off buying their present until this past week because I wasn�t sure what to get. Well, I made a choice. But bills were due, and Jackie needed school clothes. So I paid bills and bought school clothes, thinking, when I got my child support, I�d pay myself back. He�s gotta be on time this month of all months because he said he would. And then he was late, but he said he was sending it.
Well, the support was due how long ago? But, I let it slide. He�s got a new baby after all. Now, it�s the Monday before my bestest bud�s wedding and still no child support�and no gift for the young marrieds yet. Thanks for nothing, you butt-wipe, you pig.
I�d like to take this opportunity to mention that if you are a crappy pop to your kids, don�t go on to remarry and make more kids, or take responsibility for her kids. Because you will put you�re first set of your own children last.
Jackie has been last on her Dad�s list for a long time. And he can�t even be bothered to send her support on time. I�m sick of it. He�s not even a Dad to her and the one thing he�s been asked to do, which is pay support on the 1rst of every month, and that itself is too much. I give up.
What a Gibroni. I talked to him on Saturday the 6th and he told me he was sending out the already late child support that day. The week came and went, and by Saturday it still wasn�t in my mailbox, and I was furious, because I�m always waiting on him. It was due the 1rst of September, for the love of Mary!
I�m not handling disappointment well these days�.
2:44 p.m. - 2003-09-15
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
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