I haven't talked to my daughter in 5 days. I wonder if it's killing me like it is her? I know she's supposed to be on some trip to the coast with her Dad and his family..but that's a long time not to talk to someone you spend 98% of your time with.
I hate my ex. He is such a pig. Jackie confided in me last week that she heard her Dad and his wife discussing having her out there for a year. I got really angry. It seems like he never wants to be "father of the year" until she's visiting him. Then he gets all these crazy ideas. But what sucks..is that he doesn't really discuss it with Jackie. I let Jackie know I wanted her to do what she was comfortable with (while secretly hoping she wouldn't choose to stay). She already told me she didn't want to do it..and she was quite upset about the whole thing. I was so freaking angry. The other 10 months out of the year..he never writes to her and calls her once a month or so. That's not really being a Dad.
You can't just be a Dad for 2 months and then go back to ignoring her. Jerk.
And now you want to keep her? I don't think so.
He really doesn't want to cross me. I think he forgot what a bi*tch I can be when you piss me off. Maybe he needs some reminding.
I guess it's been a while since I updated..because none of you know I have two tattoos and pierced my nipples.
I did the first tattoo and the nip piercing the same night..and 3 days later...got the other tattoo. I will have to find a way to resize the pics so you all can see the tattoos.
The tattoo's are on my upper arms. The first one is a blue lotus (symbolic of rebirth) with my daughter's name underneath it.
The 2nd tattoo is a heart with angel wings on it. Surrounding it are the names of 4 people I loved dearly who have passed on: Joann (my mother), Rachel (my beloved aunt), Lue (my grandmother) and Ruth (my aunt who died in March).
The first tattoo wasn't painful. It was annoying. I watched a Discovery Channel special on Hurricane's while he did it. The 2nd tattoo..I almost fainted. Couple the fact that this other guy had a tiny office (and I'm clausterphobic), with the pain..and not taking my medicine on time and also being upset about the conversation with my daughter about her Dad wanting to keep her....well..I almost fainted. How embarassing.
Doing these things to my body were things I always wanted to do but never had the guts. Suffice it to say, I've got guts now.
No one warned me about the itching. When tattoo's heal..they itch like crazy. At least I got them done in the same week so I can get the itching over at the same time.
The boob piercings: hurt very much the first night. The piercing itself was somewhat painful but was over very quickly. I don't have much of a complaint..they are healing nicely. I look at it this way..the girls will never be as nice as when I was 20. Why not?
Be forewarned..you pierce the boobs..you will WANT to sleep in a bra for a couple of weeks. And I can just now..after a week and a half..really touch them and not feel weird. It is a strange sensation. I went from having no sensation in my breasts to having a ton of sensation. It's awesome.
I have said it lately..but if you would've told me a year ago that I'd have two tattoo's, three piercings, driving on the highway..having a boyfriend..I would've never believed you. I am just so happy in my life right now. I can't believe I lived so long in the shadows of everyone else. Life is beautiful.
Dave and I are having a blast. It is quite different being bipolar and also having a boyfriend who is bipolar. We understand each other very well..but both of us get edgy at different times..and we both have to remember that the other has the same illness. It is strange and thrilling at the same time.
I have been very tired lately. The heat always gets to me. I hate summer. I love spring and fall and christmas time. But I hate summer.
Another 3 weeks until I can tan or go swimming. Darn.
I guess I will have to find something to do until then....
By the way..Lisa is showing a lot!!!!!!!!! That's them there my godchildren in there....!
Lots of love..
Melissa
12:57 pm - June 28, 2006
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
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