I�m feeling depressed lately. It�s a wonder I even got up today, when all I wanted to do was stay underneath the covers.
I�ve been sad a lot the past few days. I did some research and found out it takes a month to start feeling the positive effects of the Geodon.
Is it possible I�m really bipolar? Or, is the incredible stress I�m under taking its toll. I think it�s the latter.
Just this morning I was thinking about my job situation and I thought, �With my luck, it�ll happen this week, because it�s my birthday and I just happen to have pissed God off enough�.
Not even an hour later, I got a call from the security office at my job this morning. I guess now they are forwarding up my �package� to the Big Kahuna�s for review. I don�t know what�s going to happen, and it�s making me literally sick to my stomach and my head is starting to ache again.
The fear of not being able to pay my bills or pay for my medication or Jackie�s is killing me. I am the sole provider in my home.
It�s going to be Christmas in a few short months, and that�s not the time to be jobless.
I want to go home, bury my head in my pillow, cry and hide out for 4 days. I want to lose it. I feel like I�m going to lose my mind from anxiety and stress.
It�s almost my birthday, and instead of thinking happy thoughts, all I can think about is making it through the next few hours without blurting out to anyone who will listen all my woes. I don�t want to be one of THOSE people.
It�s all I can do to keep from just leaving and going home. But what�s at home? A royal mess. My house is always a mess. It never ends.
I am scared. The article�s coming out. The subpoena down the road. My issues with my job. The fact that I can�t even depend on the child support. The sheer uncertainty will probably turn my hair white.
People, I just don�t know what�s going to happen in the next few months and it�s driving me nuts.
10:55 am - October 06, 2005
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
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