Thursday afternoon I got a call from my Uncle Mat. I had not heard from Uncle Mat since Grandma died in March, but I had heard from Aunt Rabby that he was in a bad way. It seems like a lot of accidents have befallen him since she died.
Again, it�s always below the surface, issues with the case have come back up. Seems like despite my yearlong effort to find someone or somebody to tell me when Rodney�s parole hearing was, I missed it again.
Something my uncle told me clicked in my head. I have never been able to figure out why a man who�s had too much to drink makes me extremely nervous. My uncle told me Rodn*ey admitted during a parole hearing that when he drinks he gets extremely violent.
If I had smelled alcohol on his breath that night, then it makes a lot of sense. This is obviously something that has buried itself in my subconscious. I never knew why I was so disturbed and turned off by a man who�s had a few beers.
My uncle had talked to Kay, a Victim�s Services person who works hand-in-hand with the parole board, had been desperately trying to reach someone in my mother�s family to talk to us about Rodn*ey. Seems the Post Disp*atch was trying to gain access to the prison to go in and take pictures of Rodn*ey for the article. I was happy to find out that was denied.
It makes me angry that he�s getting an audience. He�s a regular celebrity down in Jefferson City Correctional Center. My only comfort is that Potosi Correctional Center, where he was last, is a country club compared to this place. This place is awful, a cesspool, a hellhole. Don�t drop the soap, Rodn*ey!
I thought about the photo that would�ve appeared in the paper had the Post got their way. Rodney would be looking pitiful and forlorn, and his daughter, Lay, who should be charged with unlawful homeliness, would be looking perturbed. Or, they�d take a picture of Rodney behind some bars, to make it look gritty and realistic.
It really sucks.
I�m sick of people believing him and feeling sorry for him. Let him live next door to you and play with your kids! No, didn�t think so.
Uncle Mat gave me Kay�s phone number. I called her and got her voice mail.
She called me on Friday, returning my call.
We had a great conversation. She told me after reading the file she had no doubt that the right guy was sitting and rotting in prison. She also told me that her and the parole board are very reluctant to do anything to help speed up the Midwest Inno*cence Project�s cause.
We talked about the fact that Rodn*ey is a sociopath with no conscience. She also finds it disturbing that he takes no responsibility for either murder that he committed. The one in 1974 when he bashed a guy�s brains out with a hammer or the one where he killed my mother by stabbing her 30 plus times and impaling her on a broom.
Dirty rat bastard.
While talking to Kay, for some reason, we talked about my issues with the murder. We also touched on my supposed diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Remember how I�ve always said that I didn�t think I was bipolar? That it was something else? She has a doctorate in psychology and she specializes in trauma. She told me she has a feeling that I have Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. She wants to meet with me the next time she comes through Saint Louis. �You�re a fantastic strong woman and I�d love to have lunch with you!� That made me smile.
Now I know I need to find a doctor that specializes in that area so that I can get proper treatment.
I got a letter from the Parole Board on Saturday saying that his release was denied and that his next parole hearing was in 2006.
That has nothing to do with the Midwes*t Inno*cence Proj*ect.
They�re wreaking their own havoc.
Monday I got an email from the Circuit Attorney�s office. It seems that not only is the Post going to print the article from Mizz*ou�s class project, but they are going to follow the Midwes*t Innocen*ce Proj*ect�s process from beginning to end.
Right now, on the demand of Rodn*ey, the MIP attorney�s have subpoenaed the hair samples from the crime scene. The Circuit Attorney�s office has issued their own counter-attacks, so this might take a while. I hear that the circuit attorney�s office is going to make this whole process a pain in the butt for the MIP attorney�s. Simply because, they are on the side of me, the victim. Why make anything easier for the man who killed my mom and tried to take my life? Exactly.
I am losing my hair from stress. And according to the commercials for Relacore, my stubborn belly fat is also due to stress. Right now I look like I�m giving birth to a kid in the first grade. Sigh.
Oh, and I went to see the sleep doctor yesterday. Finally we have a diagnosis for my sleep disorder. It�s called REM Behavior Disorder. Most people are paralyzed during REM sleep. I�m not. I act out my dreams. Dr. Massi, the sleep doctor, fears that I may have a violent or scary dream and unintentionally hurt somebody. So he put me on Klonopin.
I�m scared of Klonopin. I�m only going to be on .5 milligrams of it at bedtime, but from what I read it is highly addictive.
So, I either get doped up at night, or I attack somebody. I guess we all know what the answer is.
More medication. Crap!
11:30 am - August 09, 2005
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
bluemeany
idontpretend
whinerwoman
flicka
kungfukitten
awittykitty
artofliving
thegrapevine
trancejen
chicagojo
ingridwrites
bettyford
myexodus
janie12975
vickithecute
drahmaqueen
ruachadonai
bipolarchild
thedetails
irisheyes70
sunshine0221
sallydallydo
allykitty5
dragprincess
tuckandsophi
taken-by-you
pajamamama
soulstyce
biodtl
thedevlyn
erianne1
jackprague78
r-y-r
nimiiwin
wifemotherme
boxx9000
poolagirl
marlen816
wilberteets
mom-on-roof
mpeacock
arianstar
thecrankyone
kayemess
amblus