Someone keeps trying to access my yahoo mail by using my username. Um, I think I told you guys, I don�t check the yahoo email. If you have my real email addy and feel inclined to write, go ahead. But don�t try to do yahoo. I�ll never get it.
I haven�t felt inspired to write lately. Mostly it happens when I feel something big is coming, I clam up. Whatever it is, it has to do with the case. My sixth sense has been very prickly.
I have not heard back from the circuit attorney�s office, which is odd. We communicated so much a couple of weeks ago and since then, nothing. I am also waiting on pins and needles for the copy of my testimony from the trial. I�ll be real interested to see what I had to say. I know that in the 22 years since the trial I have blocked out a few things that were just too heinous for my mind to comprehend so it was blocked.
I still haven�t received that packet.
I�ve been emailing with Ann Rubin from Channel *. She is doing some investigating on the Mizzou journalism class and has been playing phone tag with the guy from the Midwest In**ocence Project. Not all journalists are bad.
I made a decision about the Mizzou class. I declined to go speak to the class. I don�t want to be under that sort of scrutiny. I just can�t do it. I can�t see sitting in front of 11 young, spry, idealistic, na�ve kids and telling them about my life. Most kids that age don�t have the capacity to empathize with someone like me, and no matter what, I think they�d rip on me.
But I did say I would do a personal interview with the professor. I felt like he needed to know that this isn�t just a case. It�s my life. I lived the nightmare! What I have to say is a lot more important that what the perp�s skank daughter has to say.
I found out she�s already been down there to speak with them. That ho.
No matter where you stand on the Terry Schiavo case, I think it�s becoming readily apparent that something big is going on here. Bigger than us.
Couple Terri�s death with the Pope being read his last rights�.
There�s something spiritual happening. I can�t put my finger on what it is. What is the message we are supposed to be getting?
I�m totally on the fence about Terri, and I am sad. I�m sad because nobody really wins. While I would not want to be kept alive in that state for 15 years, as a mother I also identify with Terri�s mother wanting her to live. Part of me thinks Mr. Schiavo should�ve handed over guardianship to her family. Part of me wonders if it is true Terri made a statement that she never wanted to end up that way.
Part of me wonders if Terri would�ve wanted this tug-of-war between the husband and her parents. The protests. The vigils. The media circus. The lawyers. The priests.
I was leaning toward Mr. Schiavo's side until I read this morning that he plans to cremate her body and take it with him. I feel like this, Ms. Schindler gave birth to her, at least give her and her family the right to bury her. He has, after all, moved on in a way, and has a girlfriend and two kids.
It sucks.
I feel sorry for everyone involved. I think of the huge cost of care Terri needed. I think of the lawyer fees for both sides. This had to have been really expensive for both parties. I think of the emotional cost of caring for a loved one in that state for all those years.
I myself have made such statements to anyone who will listen. �Don�t keep me hooked up longer than two months. Don�t.� I do not have anything written up, and I think that is my next project. I have vowed to haunt folks from the afterlife if they ever do that to me.
I used to fear death a lot, but one thing that sustains me now is knowing I will see my mother when I die. Knowing that makes life bearable for me. So help me God, you better not prolong that meeting. I�m warning you now. If you keep me on life support for longer than two months, it will be ON, sister!
11:40 am - April 01, 2005
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
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