This weekend was packed with activity. Friday I drove all the way to work, only to drive around for an hour looking for a parking space. I developed a migraine.
I went home and called in sick.
The migraine went away around noon, but I decided not to go into work. The rest of the afternoon was being used for a mental health day.
I got done a lot of things that I�ve been putting off for a while, like taking our old shoes to the drop box, the magazines into recycling, and random housework that I hadn�t gotten around to doing in some time.
Then, I cleaned Jackie�s incredibly messy room and threw out a lot of her toys and did some reorganizing.
I found that the spot underneath her bed was perfect for two long plastic bins, which I filled with Barbie dolls and baby dolls. This freed up some room.
I picked Jackie up from school around 3:45 p.m. She was, as usual, bubbling with stories of who did what to get their names on the board.
That night�I got a phone call from my dear friend Kevin. I missed him so much. I realize now that we have been friends for 8 � years. I�ve known him since I was 3 months pregnant with Jackie. I remember the many nights we went driving around. I remember grooving to Rupaul and watching �Priscilla, Queen of the Desert�.
It�s kind of strange how things work out. When I was pregnant with Jackie, Kevin was always around. Kevin was there so much; I didn�t really miss my husband. I mean, I missed him, but he was out to sea, what could he do for me anyway always being so far away?
Kevin showed me many kindnesses and much love. I have always felt that he had a sweet loving spirit and that comes through in how he treats people.
I made Kevin the baby�s godfather. He was a Corpsman, which is the civilian equivalent of a nurse. And how weird was it that when Jackie was born, he was on duty. He got to bathe, feed and take care of his goddaughter for two days.
I haven�t seen Kevin since six months before I left the Navy, in January of 2000. And yet we keep in touch and talk regularly.
Kevin told me he�s coming to visit in January. I told him that I didn�t know of any gay clubs but if the wanted I�d take him out to one or two while he was here. I mean, he�d be okay in a straight club, but I want to show him that I still accept him and want to be a part of his life.
His partner Charlie is working on his bachelor�s and will be in school in January so he won�t be able to come.
I would�ve liked to meet him but maybe another time.
Kevin did tell me that Rupaul has a new album out and that he�s send that and Rupaul's first album, which I lost, to me in the mail. He also is going to send me a new movie that�s out, called �Girls Will Be Girls� about 3 drag queens.
I love that crap.
Saturday, it was so beautiful out that I opened up the front door and all the windows. Stupid me, I let in a bunch of flies. I hate flies, so I swatted a good fifteen of them before I got tired and gave up.
About 10:00 a.m., my Grandma called and left me a message to call her. My phone was dead and needed charging so I couldn�t answer it. Later, Lisa called too.
When my phone was charged up, the first person I called was my Grandma. God love her, I don�t think she realizes how busy I am.
�Are you coming today?� She asked.
�No Grandma, I have plans today..� I immediately felt bad.
Dangit, I just spent 4 hours at her house last Sunday, cleaning and washing her dog. Plus, we had a little birthday celebration.
It�s not like I hadn�t been there recently.
�Are you sure you can�t come?� She asked.
�Grandma, I�ll be there tomorrow. I won�t clean, but I�ll bring food and we�ll visit..�
�All right�see you then..� and she hung up.
I felt SO BAD! Jeez, no one can bring on the guilt quicker than my grandmother.
I don�t know if Grandma understands how psychologically damaging it is to go into the same neighborhood where my mother was killed and where I almost lost my life, on a weekly basis.
I can do without also seeing broken down cars, burned out buildings, broken windows, broken glass and graffiti especially brought to you by the Crips and Bloods.
Oh, and not to mention the crime rate in that area. It is dangerous to be there in the night or even daylight.
I can do without that!
The problem is, my Grandma doesn�t want to move. So we are forced to deal with it, we don�t have a choice. Because we love her, we fight our own feelings about it.
After I got off the phone with Grandma, I called Lisa. I had Max and Jackie so I thought the kids could all play together. I had to take a day just to do fun stuff. Am I so bad?
It turned out fine. Jackie and Max had a couple of spats, surprise, surprise. Jacob behaved himself. I�m sure he found it amusing to watch Jackie argue with Max.
Lisa and Jake stayed until about 5 I think.
Lisa had some errands to do�like being a taxi for her ex-husband. Poor girl. I don�t know what I�d do if I had to run my ex-husband everywhere because he lost his license. That would be weird.
Lisa had plans with Doug to go to dinner at Tumo�s, but that fell through at the last minute. So she called me back and we decided to go eat at Denny�s.
I missed her. She�s so much fun. I love Lisa.
We talked a bit about Romy. Romy is a strong-willed woman. Sometimes, when she�s trying to help, she can be a bit bossy. However, I�m strong-willed too, and we sometimes clash because of it. I don�t like to feel someone is forcing their will upon me. I hate that. Then, I get crabby. Lately, I�ve gotten crabby a lot with Romy.
Lisa feels that Romy is being stingy with me. I can�t help but wonder if that is true. I�m just going to sit back and watch�and see if it�s true. I don�t want any one person taking over my life, even if it is a dear friend.
I must find a balance with my friends. I cannot afford to shut one out, because I love them both.
Who do I love more? That�s tough because I love them both for different reasons. I must say I�m not willing to give up Lisa for anything. Any person that would try to make me doesn�t have my feelings in mind.
After dinner, we came back and watched Cops and America�s Most Wanted. We snickered about being armchair cops.
Sunday, I got up pretty early, about 9:10 a.m. I forgot what time Romy was going to work and I wanted to make sure I was awake when Dax came down.
Of course, it was a late morning, and he came down at 10:39. Stupid me for not calling and asking.
Right after Max came down, we headed off to my Grandma�s. I grabbed McDonald�s, as usual, and we drove down to that awful neighborhood. I will be so glad when I don�t have to drive down there anymore.
I know that sounds terrible, but it�s true.
After we got back from Grandma�s, I loaded up the laundry and we headed out to the laundry-mat.
Laura was there with her new baby. I really like Laura. She�s a quiet girl, unlike myself, but we�ve been through a lot of the same things. Being an orphan, being a ward of the state, etc.
I gave her my number and told her to call me anytime. I know how overwhelming a new baby can be.
After doing the laundry, which took forever, we went and got KFC for dinner. Hell, I wasn�t cooking after all that running that we did.
We went home and watched Shrek 2. It�s cute. I didn�t like it like the first one, but still, it was pretty good.
The weekend ended pretty nice. My house is still a mess but I remind myself that I did get a lot accomplished this weekend.
Hell, I hated to get up this morning.
Stupid Monday.
And now, for a name analysis from Tresssa:
Description of Your First Name of: Melissa
Although the name Melissa creates the urge to be reliable and responsible, we emphasize that it can cause a superior, interfering expression whose favorite expression is "I know" when not combined with a balanced last name. This name, when not combined with a balanced last name, can also frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses through worry and mental tension.
Your name of Melissa gives you a clever mind, good business judgment, a sense of responsibility, and an appreciation of the finer things of life. You are serious-minded and not inclined to make light of things even in little ways, and in your younger years you had more mature interests than others your age. Home and family mean a great deal to you and it is natural that you should desire the security of a peaceful, settled home environment where you can enjoy the companionship of family and friends. Whatever you set out to accomplish you do your very best to complete in accordance with what you consider to be right.
And for my little princess:
Description of Your First Name of: Jacquelyn
Although the name Jacquelyn creates idealism and the urge to help others, we emphasize that it causes an emotional intensity that is hard to control. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and happiness, as well as cause health weaknesses in the nervous system.
The name of Jacquelyn makes you very idealistic, sensitive, and inspirational. If these qualities are not understood and properly directed through music, art, or other creative expression, you could become jealous and possessive of those close to you. Your feelings are so strong that you are inclined to build your life around certain individuals and become wrapped up in personal love rather than seeking into the deeper truths of life; thus you could suffer losses in your affections and shattered ideals. You are generous and people are drawn to you because of your friendly and sympathetic nature.
9:39 am - November 08, 2004
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
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