Well it seems the source of the food poisoning is not the Sourdough Chicken sandwich from Jack in the Box. Nay, it was the curly fries. Eww. I won�t be going back there, at least to that location, for a while.
How do I know it was food poisoning? Romy and Dax got sick too. We were all coming back Monday night from Barnhart; where we dropped Romy�s truck off, and it was so late we decided to go through the drive-through. Jackie was the only one who didn�t get curly fries�she had two tacos. She didn�t get sick at all.
I worked all day yesterday, if you could call it that. I spent the day being scared of another round of explosive diarrhea and nausea. The diarrhea didn�t make another appearance, but the nausea stayed until about 7:30 last night.
Jackie and I went to bed about 8:00 p.m. I know she was mad; it is early compared to our usual 9:30. I was just exhausted.
I have a lot of thoughts swirling around in my head right now, but nothing makes sense. I wonder if this medicine has dulled me somewhat, made me a less interesting person. Things that used to be so toxic to me just don�t figure into my life anymore. Their place they once occupied is gone.
What matters to me now, is my family. My daughter. Those whom I love dearly, my closest friends. All the energy I spent being sad and depressed is no longer being used up.
I�m not the angst-ridden writer anymore. Oh, I have my ups and downs, but they are nothing like they were last September. Last year, this time, I wanted to die. I didn�t want to live anymore. I contemplated driving my car off the road. I was tired of fighting.
I was tired of reliving the night of my mother�s murder. I was tired of fighting her killer�s release from prison. I was tired of giving interviews to the news. I was tired of people I didn�t know coming up to me and saying they�d seen me on TV and I was tired of the weird looks from others who didn�t have the courage to come talk to me. I was tired of telling my dear friends for the 100th time that I still had no news from the Circuit Attorney�s office.
I just wanted to crawl into a dark room, curl into a little ball, and die.
The waiting for the DNA results was killing me. It was 10 months of agony. The longest 10 months of my life.
This September I feel hopeful. This September, I have faith. I have dreams. The future isn�t bleak anymore. I�m glad I didn�t listen to that suicidal impulse. I�m glad I stuck around for my daughter.
The medicine is wonderful and terrible at the same time. It makes me even out but it also makes me gain weight. I am a rather large woman by many standards, and this depresses me a bit.
Damn Zyprexa.
Oh, by the way, Happy (Late) Anniversary Lisa and Doug!!
Lisa, I hope you are feeling better. I'll call you soon.
10:34 am - September 29, 2004
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
bluemeany
idontpretend
whinerwoman
flicka
kungfukitten
awittykitty
artofliving
thegrapevine
trancejen
chicagojo
ingridwrites
bettyford
myexodus
janie12975
vickithecute
drahmaqueen
ruachadonai
bipolarchild
thedetails
irisheyes70
sunshine0221
sallydallydo
allykitty5
dragprincess
tuckandsophi
taken-by-you
pajamamama
soulstyce
biodtl
thedevlyn
erianne1
jackprague78
r-y-r
nimiiwin
wifemotherme
boxx9000
poolagirl
marlen816
wilberteets
mom-on-roof
mpeacock
arianstar
thecrankyone
kayemess
amblus