I'm starting to think that I was in the manic stage of my bipolar a few weeks agao. Example? I told my best friend to take a flying leap without a 2nd thought. Um. Did any of you think I was a little out of line?
I'm coming out of the mania and surprise...thanks to Lisa, she and I are talking again...(smiles). I really do think though that we will embark on our "new" friendship with a little more love and respect for each other. I do think we will change some of the ways we interact with each other so that there's less of a chance of a misunderstanding.
Misunderstandings suck.
It was harsh of me to say that she was toxic. I meant to say that some aspects of our relationship were going sour but toxic is too strong a word. That word almost conveys hatred. I will never hate her.
The root of it all is that I love Lisa but I hate what her man does to her. I want her, in my deepest of hearts, to stand up and say, "Enough, little man! You will mistreat me no more!" and then with a haughty laugh, she stomps him like a bug with a stiletto heel...but I think she has to do things on her own and in her own time. I think what's important to remember is that it's not my life to run. It's hers. I want her to be happy, whomever she's with.
We will see what happens now. I think we will take it slow.
Friends don't quit. And I did quit. I have to own up to that responsibility. What I love about my diaryland friends is that they supported me no matter what I did. Does Lisa deserve any less than that? No. She's been in my life for a while.
I love her...and my life without her is empty....and it's just not the same.
2:07 pm - July 23, 2004
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
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