I�m finally getting over that nasty virus that I caught from Logan. That poor baby, this was a doosie!
I�m almost feeling back to my normal self.
Yesterday I was sitting on the porch talking to Romy. I involuntarily shivered. She asked me what was wrong.
�Things just feel icky. Everything. The visit with my sister. Rene�s brother died, poor guy, so he�s lost. The situation with the neighbors from hell at war..and the big fight with my sister. I just want to shake it all off��
Things have just been too weird lately. Plus I got sick so I was out of sorts. Not a good combination of events.
I mailed that letter to my sister Renee yesterday. I don�t really know if she�ll ever talk to me again. I know I can�t make her change her mind, or her life, but I needed to get out all of that toxic stuff that built up over all this time. I needed to say my peace.
A small part of me is worried something terrible is going to happen to her, and I need to reassure myself that I tried to help. I know now that this is something I cannot fix.
I wanted her to know I cared enough to say something, even if it wasn�t what she wanted to hear. Quite possibly, it might be the one thing that propels her toward him. I had to take the risk.
Sadly, even if she keeps me in her life, things are going to be weird for a long time. That�s life, I guess.
I looked up Battered Woman�s Syndrome. The dynamics of domestic violence, which contribute to Battered Woman�s Syndrome, include:
1. the traumatic effects of victimization
2. learned helplessness
3. self-destructive behaviors as a coping response to violence,
such as drug/alcohol abuse, and minimization/denial
4. repeated cycles of abuse
The battered woman, having been systematically abused by her partner, perceives that there is no way out of the relationship. She believes that if she says, he will eventually kill her and that if she leaves, he will find her and kill her. She feels trapped and helpless. Believing there are no options to escape the abuse, she may kill him.
So this is certainly within the realm of possibility for my sister. If he doesn�t kill her, she might kill him. I don�t understand why women put themselves through this.
Battered woman's syndrome �
� According to Dr. Lenore Walker, a battered woman is one "who is repeatedly subjected to any forceful physical or psychological behavior by a man in order to coerce her to do something he wants her to do without concern for her rights." � Gee, sounds a lot like Terry.
�
� Must go through battering cycle twice: �
1. Tension-building; batterer engages in mild battery, woman tries to appease him to stave off more serious violence 2.
2. Acute battering incident; something triggers more extreme violence 3.
3. Batterer displays loving behavior and promises to stop battering.
�
� Women stay for a variety of reasons: �
o Grew up in violent household, consider battery normal. �
o Find hope in Stage 3 promises and believe batterer will change. �
o Fear further violence if they leave �
o Financially dependent on batterer �
o Fear social stigma of separation/divorce, esp. if she cannot take the children away from the batterer �
o Afraid that friends or family they seek help from will not believe them
2:01 pm - June 04, 2004
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
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