I think I mentioned last week that Mr. Sweatpants and I planned to see �The Passion of the Christ� during the weekend.
Thursday night my mom picked up Jackie. I gave her lots of hugs and she cried a little. I told her she was not to have too much fun without me. That resulted in a giggle and the tears were pretty much gone.
Friday I was pretty tired. I didn�t sleep well Thursday night, probably because Jackie wasn�t sleeping with me. I dragged my butt home from work, changed and put some makeup on. I took the dog for a walk and put him in the bathroom. I felt really guilty about that, but he chews up every friggin thing he can get his little paws on.
Then I waited outside for Rene�. He was EARLY. He�s rarely early for anything, trust me.
I could tell Rene� wasn�t really psyched about the movie. I mean, he�s lived and breathed religion all of his 44 years. He knows about everything he should�ve learned already but boyfriend takes it all pretty seriously.
Enough to run not walk to confession immediately after each of the 8 times we did the deed a couple years ago. Enough to stop doing the deed because he felt GUILTY as hell.
I told him it was like we were going to church, except that we were going to the movies. That seemed to soothe his ruffled feathers so all systems were go.
Inside the theater there was the ticket guy and a ridiculously long line and a sign that said, �The Passion of the Christ.� Inwardly I groaned at the thought of standing in this long line to see the movie.
Mr. Sweatpants went to get yucky movie theater popcorn and ridiculously overpriced soda while I stood in line. Surprise, the line moved pretty quick. It was a surreal experience, kind of like something out of one of those �Left Behind� novels. Kind of like, Christians have to go in a different line. Very weird.
The movie had no previews. Awesome. I always feel like they�re torture anyway and way too long. I think it would probably be inappropriate to show a movie preview like from �The Rules of Attraction� before a movie like �The Passion� (hey I rhymed). Mel Gibson thought of everything.
A cell phone rang. All eyes zeroed in on the guilty blue haired lady, who glanced around furtively before answering it and whispering furiously to the offending caller not to call back because the movie was getting started. That was the last cell phone I heard.
The movie immediately goes into the Garden of Gethsemane (SP?) scene. That�s the last I�ll tell about it, just in case you want to be surprised. It touched me that even Jesus went through his times of turmoil. I think that it�s important to remember that he had his moments down here too. Maybe that�s why I�m not scared of being condemned and going to hell. I just can�t see Christ as a harshly judgmental deity. The same for the big Kahuna in the sky: God.
Well, what can you expect from a movie like that? I was afraid to get real excited about it, but I was also happy to see the story of the last 12 hours of his life in a movie. You know how the story goes and you know how it ends, but can any studio production really do it any justice?
My opinion, after seeing it, is yes.
I�m not going to spoil the movie just in case people haven�t seen it yet. I will note that I teared up frequently during the movie. I will mention that my heart would pound during a few scenes. I found myself mourning heavily with Mary and Mary Magdalene. I found myself hating the evil presence that, as noted in the Bible, popped up during Jesus� emotionally trying times. The �evil� was a scary unsettling thing that I will probably see in my nightmares for a while to come.
This was the only movie I ever went to where there was complete and utter respectful silence; no talking, no cell phones, only the audible signs of many people sniffling and I assume, crying. I think, only a cold-hearted person could see this and not cry.
His suffering was immense. The man who played Jesus had the most expressive and mournful eyes; it was hard to watch the movie at certain points. It is a violent and bloody movie, but we already knew that Christ�s suffering was exactly that. It is no surprise that he suffered tremendously before and during the crucifixion.
I think it�s important to note that in the movie that the mere presence of Jesus changed people. I think they only had to be near him and of an open heart to feel the love he had for all people. I found it a comfort to note that Jesus had a huge impact on those near him who was open to him. If he can change a prostitute then the rest of us have hope. I remember the sad angry person that I was before I was blessed with my daughter. Love can change even the hardest of hearts. I should know.
Nothing I could say would do the movie justice. I say; even if you are not religious, go see it. Your heart will be touched by what you see.
It was the closest I�ve come in a long time to a religious experience. A review I read, the only one that gave the movie a �C� and not an �A� like the rest said that the movie would leave you �emotionally exhausted�. I relayed that to Mr. Sweatpants after the movie and he said, �How self-involved is that?� So true, Rene�. Well put, my love.
Saturday I had big plans. Laundry, throwing away at least 3 bags of junk we don�t need anymore. Maybe a short walk in the park with Toby.
Instead, around 1:00 p.m. I got a call from Mom saying that Jackie was really sick. I talked to her and she sounded sad. She cried a little. I told her I was on my way.
I took Toby with me for protection. I drive through some bad neighborhoods to get to my adopted Mom�s so I felt better with him along. He enjoyed sticking his nose out the window for a majority of the trip.
It really is a trip because I take back roads to get to Florissant. I despise the highway.
Jackie, I found out, had a really high fever. So, home we came. I gave Jackie 3 chewable Motrin and she lay down on the couch. The rest of that day was spent lounging around inside the apartment. Jackie felt like, well, doo-doo, so we just watched some movies. Melinda bought her �Lion King 1 �� for her birthday so we watched that too. I wasn�t that impressed with the new �Lion King� movie. It stops and starts a lot which I find sort of boring.
Sunday Jackie felt much better so we went to do laundry. I wanted to visit with Lisa but she was heading out to go to the humane society in search of a pet. Good luck girlfriend. May you find a dog or kitty that you will adore.
After we came back from doing laundry we decided to go to the park. We saw Mr. Sweatpants there. At first I thought he was walking with some people there but he was alone.
Mr. Sweatpants. I�m not sure what�s happening with us right now. I noticed that his usually friendly hugs and kisses have a bit of urgency to them because he does it more frequently lately. I�m a little ashamed to say that I still grab his butt when I get the chance. I can�t resist a runner�s firm butt cheeks, especially when they run 7 or more miles a day. I mean, I look at him and still feel a strong attraction to him. He is very handsome when he doesn�t neglect to keep his head shaved properly. If he doesn�t keep it shaved he develops an Afro and when he�s near you can hear the chorus of �Stayin� Alive� very clearly.
I still love him and like his company. It would be nice to marry him and have his children.
However, that is not his intention even though we joke about it. I�m not sure he will ever marry. I wonder why we are still drawn to each other. Neither of us has really moved on.
We broke up over a year ago but we can�t seem to break a 14-year-old bond. I met him when I was 15 year�s old, and he was my pen pal for 3 years. When I was 18, he was out of there, I guess afraid maybe that I�d want more than friendship.
Yesterday Jackie and I went to the park to do a mile walk around the nature trail with Toby. We got about � of the way through and Jackie wanted to sit and rest. I pulled Toby close to me and took a seat at a picnic table. Who should walk up but Rene�. I felt bad because I had planned to call him and ask if he wanted to walk with us but I had forgotten. No matter, we decided to finish the trail together.
Rene� is the more religious of us, being a devout Catholic. He doesn�t hesitate to mention ever that the beautiful things we see and share are a gift. He thought it was really good of me to take this walk on such a beautiful sunny day. I think it�s good for him to see I�m making an effort to be active. He is such a health nag.
Jackie and I had planned on going to The Macaroni Grill that afternoon. Jackie got $52.00 for her birthday and part of her wish was to take her mom out to eat. She had asked me what it would cost for two people to eat there. I told her it would be about $20.00 for two people.
We asked Rene� if he wanted to go with us. After he said he would, I told him to meet us back at my apartment. I had to change and put the dog in his kennel.
The Macaroni Grill has the freshest and yummiest pasta I ever had. I had the Penne Rustica, which is grilled chicken; shrimp, in a creamy white sauce. Jackie had grilled chicken and broccoli. Rene� had the Prime Rib.
It was a really nice dinner. Jackie gave Rene� her $20.00 for her and me. I was touched that she would want to do something so nice for me. I love my little monster.
I�m thinking about trimming down my buddy list to people that read me and I read them. I printed it out yesterday and there�s like 10 that don�t read me but I have them marked as a favorite. I am going to see if there� s a few of them that I can take off my buddy list.
09:22 - Monday, Mar. 08, 2004
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