Thanksgiving is almost here, and I�m a nervous wreck. Salsalita assures me that this is a normal �emotion� for all this anxiety, but I still feel like a dope.
We picked up the Honey baked Ham last night. Yes, it was expensive, $49.00 for 8 pounds, but it�s one less thing I have to worry about ruining by burning or overcooking it. When I cook, people end up with a stomachache or diarrhea. So I don�t cook.
They�ll thank me later for I�m no domestic goddess.
Speaking of feeling dopey, I went into Dierboogs this morning at 7:00 a.m. this morning to grab corn, pimentos and cranberry sauce. Does anyone really enjoy cranberries, or do they just feel compelled to eat them because it�s tradition? Double Yuck.
Dierboogs is a pretty store; I guess that�s why people pay more to shop there. I just went because it was open early. Anyway, everything was an easy find, except the pimentos. My cousin says the pimentos make the corn look pretty. I say, add some sugar to the corn and at least it will taste pretty and who care�s about pimentos? Aren�t those the sour things in olives? I went up and down 6 aisles knowing I was going to be late to work, trying to find these little red things.
After scouring the said aisles, and aging five years, I flagged down a luscious Dierboog�s boy and asked him to point me the way. Yes, they were in the 2nd aisle that I�d gone down, and I didn�t see them. I briefly stare at his tight butt as he walks away.
I�m a moron.
I felt smart for going though this morning instead of this afternoon after work. It took me two minutes to check out. Yay.
*****************************************************
Well, my Uncle Dan called me last night to confirm directions. Turns out in his youth he worked at the Royal Waterbeds store down the street so he kind of knows where I live. It�s no longer Royal Waterbeds; it�s now the Bedroom Store.
Yes, the Bedroom Store who ripped off my friend Salsalita. You pay a whole lot of money for a whole lotta crappy service and damaged furniture. Sounds like a great deal to me.
Anyway, we talked briefly directions and then briefly on the family religion: Apostolic Pentecostal. I used to feel like a black sheep for not being one, but I couldn�t bring myself to be a part of something that I wasn�t comfortable with. I had enough of that in the Navy. Anyway, I told him that he�s not alone.
I think Uncle Dan wants to eventually go back to that church. Inwardly, I�m screaming �NO� because I know for a fact that many of the people cope with guilt and shame because they can�t live up to the strict rules and ways of the church. But I can�t say anything; I just give my opinion that �many paths lead to God.�
**************************************************
My cool cousin Jackie called again last night to go over our plans one more time. For some reason, we also touch on the family religion. What is this? International Religion Day? She and her husband are Apostolic, and so is Nicole (my cousin/sister). Nicole and I were raised as sisters..long story.
Jackie struggles with the rules about no make-up and not cutting your hair. She, like many women in that church, see nothing wrong with doing these things, but they abstain out of fear as being seen as a backslider, which is someone who falls out of favor of God by disobeying the rules. People will either harass you or avoid you like the plague if you�re �backsliding.�
She laughed dryly, �The church isn�t hard on men, it�s hard on women.�
I told her the Mormon Church, in my opinion, was exactly the same way. Women feel so much pressure to be perfect moms, perfect church members (with perfect job history), perfect temple-recommend holders, and perfect wives. Or else, their husbands in the hereafter will not call them from the grave.
It�s a bunch of crap, in my opinion.
The Apostolic Pentecostal woman cannot wear pants, shorts, and cannot cut their hair, no makeup, no jewelry except for a wedding band, no pierced ears..it goes on and on and may vary a little by congregation.
You see a woman like that, feel sorry for her. She�s got a long life ahead of her.
The men have a lot more privilege. Since they aren�t prone to wearing makeup or pantyhose they really have little to worry about in way of their appearance.
I don�t know, I guess, I see people trying to jump through hoops for their churches, and I think, �Why are you letting yourself be controlled by them?� It doesn�t matter what a church, pastor or congregation thinks of me, I only care that God finds me fit.
I think he does. I�m not perfect, but I try to love others, be kind to others, and be a good friend and family member.
So, after our talk about the church, I tell her that I�m leaning toward Episcopalian. I don�t tell her my reason, which is, if a church is willing to talk about gay bishops, then that tells me that at least they�re willing to try to accept people. At least there, I�m probably not going to feel like a Jezebel because I�m a divorced single parent.
Religion is touchy, but we talk about it. We have a problem with that because we don�t obey the �untouchable topic/taboo topic� rules.
Anyway, I ran out to Marshall�s again and got a few more gifts, for my unexpected guests tomorrow. I love giving gifts to people, especially when they�re not expected. I�ll probably wait until we�re done eating, and then I�ll give a speech about what I�m thankful for.
I�ll get misty. And then of course I�ll mention how hard this year was, and that I�ve learned a lot about my family and myself this year. I�m then going to disperse their Christmas presents.
So what if it isn�t Christmas. I�m not playing by the rules this year anyway.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. Love, Missy
08:56 - Wednesday, Nov. 26, 2003
Recent entries:
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