After Rob left, I had a mourning period of approximately 2 days. After all, I was young and had no attention span. Nothing more could be expected of me.
Juanito and Melinda kept me busy so I wouldn�t think about Rob too much. We went to Biscayne Bay, the Mall, and we visited other relatives in Little Havana. I believe my favorite day was the one when we went shrimping.
Pretty soon, the Navy guys were on the horn asking me to get my affairs in order. Since I wasn�t back in St. Louis on time, I was going to have to leave for boot camp from Miami instead. I called Cinders and told her to get my supplies ready to ship to Great Lakes, Illinois.
Unfortunately, you could not wear anything except white, grandma underwear in boot camp. No lace, no writing, not even, a flower. No print. Undies or bras.
How boring! So, Cinders boxed up some boring white underwear to send to great lakes. I had a dread of boring underwear.
The day I left for boot camp, I awoke before dawn. I sleepily padded into the kitchen to get some espresso, and decided to have my coffee on the porch where I could watch the sunrise.
Cream, with two teaspoons of sugar.
The sun coming up over Miami is a spectacular sight. It�s a very peaceful sight in a not so peaceful place. The only time Miami didn�t seem chaotic was in the very early morning, when even the dew is new.
I contemplated the day ahead of me while sipping the dark brew.
I saw my sister emerge from her bedroom with red swollen eyes, and I knew she�d cried most of the night about me leaving. She�d tried to make me change my mind many times since Rob and I arrived in Miami, and I couldn�t make her understand that I felt the military was the only way I�d make a life for myself.
Mindy got her coffee and silently she joined me on the porch. After a few minutes of silence she asked, �Did you rest well?� She put her coffee down on the table and lit a cigarette.
�Not really, I�m too excited�.
�Lissy, are you sure this is what you want to do?�
�Mindy, I know you weren�t so sure about Rob. I wasn�t thinking straight. But the Navy is different. It�s giving me a chance to do something our momma would be proud of. Something I can be proud of.�
My mind drifted back to the day I told my mom�s family I was enlisting.
It was last Thanksgiving, and we were enjoying seeing each other for the first time since Easter. Uncle Larry was slicing the turkey. Aunt Abby was talking about some church function, as always.
Renee, who is my baby sister, and Jackie, who is my cousin, were snickering, probably because they were making fun of Melinda�s gold lame� hot pants, that she had paired with a black fisherman�s sweater. �Do all people in Miami wear hot pants?� they had asked Melinda. �Of course,� she said. �It�s too hot to wear much else.�
I hadn�t said much, but it was now my time. �Hi, everyone, I�d like to make an announcement.� It was sort of uncomfortable to have 17 eyes on you at one moment. Especially if you�ve always been the Nerdy black sheep of the family. Especially if, in a religious family, you�ve cut your waist length hair off to a pixie cut. Especially if they are homophobic and think that if you cut your hair you were gay. This was a role I deserved an Emmy for.
I bravely cleared my throat.
�I�ve joined the Navy. I leave for boot camp next summer�. Abby choked on her turkey, Uncle Nat laughed. Grandma dropped her fork in her mashed potatoes. The kids were whispering very loudly that �she is nuts�.
�She�s going to war?�
�That sounds hard..the military�s not for girls.�
My baby sister blankly said nothing and my big sister had looked like she stopped breathing. �Boot camp, what about boot camp? Isn�t that really hard? Lis, do you know what you�re doing?� Melinda looked like she was about to have a heart attack.
Finally, Uncle Larry broke the awkward silence with: �Don�t you remember Tailhook?� Oh, yes, how can I forget the story of drunken officers engaging in all sorts of debauchery and disrespecting the female attendees of this certain party.
�Tailhook was a while ago�and stuff like that doesn�t happen anymore.� I calmly explained.
Protests flew at me now, from both sisters, my aunts, my uncles.
Finally, Grandma settled it, �Lis, you can do anything you want to do in your life. I am behind you. I know you can do it.� And that was it. It was settled. Whether they liked it or not, Grandma had spoken for them.
Back in Miami, my sister was now earnestly asking me if I was really ready for something this hard. I knew I was. I had survived all sorts of abuse, attacks, and neglect in my lifetime and it had prepared me for my future. I had to be tough, blend in and adapt. It was the only way to survive anything.
Melinda, who had a little linen robe on, retied the sash at the waist. She busied herself putting her should length Hershey brown hair up in a bun, and she swept imaginary ashes of the oak table. I could see her hands were trembling while she spoke.
�Lissy, Mama would�ve wanted us to be together. I missed you so much and you came here for a month. That was a gift. I realized how much I really missed you while you were here. Please don�t go!� tears were starting to stream down her cheeks.
I did feel really bad. But I was already starting to detach myself in preparation for leaving. I held her hand and patted it absentmindedly while she cried.
�Mindy, I really have to do this. For myself. It�s not like we�re heirs to a fortune you know. I have to find a way to pay for my college too and make a life for myself.� My sister wouldn�t look at me. While I held one hand, she had the other over her eyes. Her nose was red, and her cheeks were tearstained.
My sister Melinda was 12 when I was born. So she wouldn�t feel left out, Mama let her name me. I was her own little baby to play with.
Then, after being hit by a drunk driver, Mamma almost died in the terrible accident when I was a month old. She was horribly handicapped after it. So Melinda practically raised me.
I was like her child to my own sister.
When Momma was killed in 1982, and we were hurt..she tried to hold on to me and Renee because we were all she had left of her little family. Instead, my mom�s family pulled us away from her. Because she had been a rebellious teen and gave my mom trouble.
They punished her for being a typical teenager. As if losing her mom wasn�t enough, they took her baby sisters from her. It left a jagged scar on her soul for life. She lost her family in one night.
She was only 16, but now, had to live alone.
�Mindy, I�m not leaving forever. I will get to go on leave, and I will be back to get you. You can�t stay married to Juan forever. He�s not making you happy. I promise I�ll come back to Florida somehow.� The fact is I didn�t know how. I knew I didn�t have a choice in billets.
�I know Lis. It�s just hard to see you�re grown up enough that you can do this on your own. It�s weird.� She sighed heavily. �I guess I have to let you grow up and be a woman. Just don�t forget me, okay?�
Now I had tears in my eyes. �Of course not.�
We were silent for a while. Drinking espresso and smoking cigarettes.
Then it was time to get ready. It was 6:45 a.m. and the recruiter would be there at 7:30 to pick me up to take me to the airport.
9:12 a.m. - Friday, Oct. 24, 2003
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
bluemeany
idontpretend
whinerwoman
flicka
kungfukitten
awittykitty
artofliving
thegrapevine
trancejen
chicagojo
ingridwrites
bettyford
myexodus
janie12975
vickithecute
drahmaqueen
ruachadonai
bipolarchild
thedetails
irisheyes70
sunshine0221
sallydallydo
allykitty5
dragprincess
tuckandsophi
taken-by-you
pajamamama
soulstyce
biodtl
thedevlyn
erianne1
jackprague78
r-y-r
nimiiwin
wifemotherme
boxx9000
poolagirl
marlen816
wilberteets
mom-on-roof
mpeacock
arianstar
thecrankyone
kayemess
amblus