Warning: Pettiness Follows:
*************************************
Salsalita,
Oh, lord. This is nuts. I came to see you, bearing cool newspaper-wrapped gifts, on your birthday. Of course, you were watching Jackie, so I had to, right? But I made a big deal of it. That is important. Yes, I�m still a kid that way. I didn�t really have a childhood. Birthdays are a big deal.
Your birthday? Girl, you got some nerve. Your birthday weekend: I suggested we have dinner the weekend before. Rene� and I wanted to take you and Doug to dinner somewhere. I don�t remember where. Was it Penney�s or that other place over by Target? All I remember is that we didn�t get to go.
If you remember right, you had plans with Doug for your birthday, you went and did something, that�s all I remember. We always talk about going out but it doesn�t happen because my ex lives in another state and can�t take Jackie for an evening or 3 so I can go out. I don�t have a babysitter..but maybe I�ll find one. The weekend after your birthday? Of course I wasn�t answering the phone. You had plans with Doug.
Around your birthday, yes�I�m recalling that now. I was in the throes of a deep depression and you were planning the happiest day of your life. How could I share with you that I wanted to kill myself when you were talking Vegas, and dresses, and flower arrangements? Also, that was my pre-suicidal stage and I was in my isolation period. But I was there for you on your big day.
Well, on MY birfday..I begged off seeing my Grandma on Saturday, the 11th, because I had laundry to do, and we (you and me) had plans later that day as far as I knew. So, I rushed and did laundry (after running my mom and Jackie off at 1:00 p.m. or so).
Okay, so you made different plans Saturday evening. Whatever. I�m like, over it.
On Sunday the 12th I was at my mom�s forever! I was at my mom�s until 5:00 p.m. Sunday. I stayed there Saturday night after visiting Ms. Terry. I wasn�t home screening my calls as you say. If you weren�t so wrapped up in your emotions maybe you�d remember I told you that I was going to be at my mom�s all day that day. I�ll be sure to give you the number to anywhere I go from now on.
I was finally able to get out of there. And, yes, I did call from my mom�s to your house and got no answer. I only tried once. I have an answering machine, not voice mail, Ms. Technology, so I can�t check my messages remotely, so I wouldn�t have known you were looking for me. I�m not psychic either, so I couldn�t sense you were trying to find me.
But again I came back at 5:00 p.m. because I was under the impression we (you and me) had plans for going out to dinner Sunday evening.
You were understandably upset about what happened with Doug, because we didn�t see each other Sunday either. I was mad that you ate earlier in the day (�we didn�t hear from you, Missy�) and thus, was not going to go out for dinner with us, but I had to go with it anyway.
We ended up making plans for Monday instead. Are you tired yet? I was.
Rene� felt well, so we went out for dinner on Sunday so it wasn�t a complete waste. Everything was fine until he turned green.
I guess I was sort of mad because I did make plans the entire weekend to make EVERYONE happy. I was trying to accommodate my mom, of course Jackie, my grandma Lou, my aunt Abby and her husband and working around OUR very fluid plans. I made the mistake of trying to accommodate everyone. I should know better.
And while the Hallmark of MY family is the inability to do anything that makes sense, such as coming to see me instead of me coming to see them..let�s just say it�s not your Hallmark. You�ve always been a fantastic friend.
I expect them to do things that are inconsiderate and a bit flaky. But you are not flaky by nature and would usually consider my level of BUSYNESS on a weekend such as that.
I ended up being very frustrated by the time you and I got together on Monday. My celebratory weekend was spent working around other people�s plans. It�s irritating. In the course of trying to accommodate everyone, some people got shafted because I spent little or no time with them, and others, I definitely had more than my share with them. And for you, Cleopatra, I shifted my plans at least two more times.
I am docking you two princess points for that.
It�s no picnic visiting the kin, but I actually wanted to visit with you. We�ve had our miscommunications before and we�ve always gotten past it. We�ve tried to stay friends. Things just suck lately.
I did call you this past Sunday. I did. Did you check your messages? I called home and cell phone. Rene� mentioned he�s tried to call you too but you don�t answer your phone.
Sorry, Rene� was sick on Monday and I spent the entire afternoon and evening in the emergency room. Did you want me to call you when I got back from the ER at midnight?
You don�t have to make me happy. That is not your job. And while I was mad at you I don�t hate you. I�ll get over it.
It just seems like lately your mind is somewhere else. You are acting a bit spacey. Spacey enough to where you are having less consideration for others and don�t see where you�ve done some things that are just inconsiderate.
It�s not like you.
I probably won�t be there tonight. I�m feeling like crap, and the last thing I want to do is get into an argument with you at Jake�s birthday party. I�m not that selfish.
I want to buy him something and I�ve forgotten 3 times now when I was at the store to get him something. Maybe he�ll just get a late birthday present. He deserves something nice from Jackie and me no matter how mad I get at you.
10:16 a.m. - Wednesday, Oct. 22, 2003
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
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