Hi all, Happy Friday! I don't have anything bad to say today. Isn't that nice? And before ya'll pick up the phone and call Guiness, I'd like to remind you that I was, before the DNA review, a pretty happy person. I had my manic times, and I had my depressed times. I also had some pretty even times between that. I just never had the anxiety and depression at the same time and not as bad as it was this time.
I'm just, okay. And it's nice to be, uh, okay, especially after you finished a suicidal spell. I've never been as devoid of joy and happiness as I was the past 4 months. That was pure hell.
I know folks don't like to take meds, but sometimes, the need outweighs the risk of side effects. If you knew me at all, and knew what a positive person I am, then you would've been gravely worried about me two weeks ago. You'd know that I needed medication badly. I wanted to die, that's right, I wanted to eat it. Croak. Kick the bucket.
That's not me. I've always been a survivor, a lover of life, and the people in it. And I got so down that none of that mattered to me; all I knew is I didn't want to feel that pain anymore. I reached out. Lucky me, I found a doctor who listened.
I'm on Zyprexa, an anti-psychotic that just happens to work for bipolars too. The side effects such as slower movement and thought are starting to taper off. I'm sure I could gain weight too, but I have a job that requires me to get up and actually work all day. You can't get lazy dragging a CPU all over the building. And even if I had a dull work day, I have my Tai Bo tapes at home.
I determined to be happy and healthy if it kills me. Hee hee.
Well anyway, the day is almost over and I'm ready for the weekend. I just want to tell all my diaryland friends who reached out to me in my terrible times...thank you. I really appreciate the love. Back at cha!
1:35 p.m. - 2003-10-03
Recent entries:
What you missed - January 16, 2012
%%older_entries%%From hell - October 19, 2010
%%older_entries%%a rant from a few weeks ago - August 17, 2010
%%older_entries%%Tired - June 20, 2010
%%older_entries%%A beautiful lie - March 11, 2010
%%older_entries%%
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